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Globfly’s Third Angelversary

“Forever In My Heart” 

Jeannie Yee Davis

I can’t believe that it’s been three years since you relocated to heaven. Everything is still fresh in my mind, and it feels like it was yesterday, but time betrays me and keeps moving forward. Every day it does, I fear I would forget a little bit more of you and our life together. I don’t want to lose any memory of us! I couldn’t believe Cynthia said I should move away because there are too many memories of you here. Seriously? After you left, I suffered from PTSD without knowing it. All I knew was that I couldn’t remember the simplest things about you, which scared me. It was bad enough losing you, but to lose every memory of your existence was too much to bear. I freaked out and began jotting down every recollection of you I remembered. I knew I would be all right as each memory resurfaced.

I can’t see you, and I can’t hear you, but I feel your presence. It’s funny. Remember how you teased me for saying something to you then ran off before you could answer me, and when you answered, I couldn’t hear you? Well, little did we know, that was the dress rehearsal for our new reality because I talk to you, and I know you are talking back to me, but I can’t hear you—just like old times. It’s comforting knowing some things never change. Yeah, I knew you’d like that. I see you smiling and shaking your head, Markie, and a smile tickles my face.

Cynthia was wrong. I don’t ever want to leave our home for the simple reason that everywhere I look, there is you. Remember when you played the piano, I would bring whatever I was working on into the living room to be near you? I still do that. Every time I pass by your seat in the family room and catch your wiggling finger wave, I smile. I see a shadow cast onto the carpet upstairs, and I know you’re heading into my writing office to look for me just like old times, and I chuckle, knowing that I’m in the other room watching you look for me. Some things never change, right, honey?

I still shop with you in mind. Crazy, right? But, old habits die hard. Food was your passion, and it became a habit to discover unique foods to surprise you and spoil you with your favorite treats. I only wish you would speak louder for me to hear you critique my findings, Markie.

I miss you with a vengeance as reality sets in, confirming that you are not coming through the door this time. I still look, expecting you to appear. With every sound, it’s a natural high that you would be coming through the door any moment with your carefree voice in a sing-song, “Hi, honey, I’m home.” Oh, such music to my ears. And, oh such joy, to run to the door and throw my arms around you and proclaim, “Honey, I missed you!” These moments are evergreen. As are the times you greeted me upon my return home with a puppy boy face and oh so sad voice, “Baby, I missed you! Where have you been all my life?” How could anybody not cave to that?

We were inseparable, you and me, and that hasn’t changed. Everywhere I go, you go. Everything I do, you do with me. We talk to each other. It may not be ideal, but we find ways to do so. I’m thankful you are still, as unconventional as it is, in my life as my guardian angel. You are the best angel for the job because you always have my best interest at heart. Having you near me, I feel confident, strong, and safe, but so often, I still need the real you, Markie. Nothing could replace YOU. There is much that I can’t do without you. Some days are still more challenging than others. 

I long to have a conversation with you every day. I miss your words of wisdom more than you will ever know. You’re privy to everything in my life, but what about you? I miss hearing from you. I always cherish what you think and what you feel. Are you happy? What have you been up to? I don’t even know what to ask you, but I’m curious about your new world. I imagine you are well and get along with the other angels like you got along with people, but what is it like in heaven? I would love to know. What do you do when you’re not watching over me? I miss hearing about your day. I miss hearing you speak, and I miss being with you! I dream of spending a day with you and catching up. I know I ask a lot, but I’m a dreamer.

More often than not, I yearn to fall into your gentle arms and be comforted the way that only you could. I desire our life together as we knew it. It was a beautiful life. We had it made in the shade with purple Kool-Aid. Why couldn’t it last forever? 

Nothing lasts forever except your love for a good Snickerdoodle. I get this feeling that I chose well at your Celebration of Life with your two favorites, Snickerdoodles and lemon meringue pie. Since every year about now, I feel your nudge for a Snickerdoodle, and I hear you say, “You can never have too many Snickerdoodles.” Okay then, you know very well that I aim to please you, my honey. 

You always were, are, and will be the love of my life. And, Markie, like your forever favorite cookie, nothing will stop us from living on forever in my heart.

ILYVM, Globfly! 💜🖖👊

3 thoughts on “Globfly’s Third Angelversary

  1. Dear Jeannie, You brought tears to my eyes. You’re awesome story teller. A lot of people become YouTubers. I watch the and am fascinated how their stories just flow. Yours is like that, because you can picture in your head/see it unfold. Love you,

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