A Moment in My Life – Thursday, January 14, 2021
For some of us, it’s literally like brand spanking new. Like my father-in-law, who suffers from mild dementia and Alzheimer’s, each day is literally brand spanking new for him whether he likes it or not. For the rest of us, we can choose to live each day like it’s brand spanking new because every day is a new morning with a clean slate waiting for us to create a life well-lived. We get the same number of hours and the blessing to decide how to use them.
Today, in remembrance of my father’s 19th death anniversary, I placed three bouquets, one from each of his daughters, at his gravesite. I have only loving memories of Daddy. I’m sad that he doesn’t get to decide how to spend his day anymore.
Life is here for a flicker, but many don’t fully understand what that comment means. If they haven’t experienced a loss of some kind, it’s a hard concept to ponder. Being hypersensitive, I’ve understood this comment long before I experienced loss. Yet, not until I faced a second chance to live did I truly understand those words. Like every other human on this earth, I have days when I don’t spend my time well. That’s the beauty of each day. It presents an opportunity to do it right all over again.
I wake up and do the same routine every day. Wake up, do my stretches, read my devotional, brush my teeth, wash, get myself together, collect my cup of coffee, and head to my writing desk. Same actions, but every day is a different day. If it’s sunny, my heart sings. If it’s gloomy, my heart sinks. I see or hear something on my newsfeed or timeline, in my email or text, and that impacts my attitude, feelings, and thoughts, making my day a brand spanking new one. Our minds, thoughts, and emotions are easily influenced. This revelation is a blessing in so many ways.
Since my husband’s passing two years ago, I’ve managed to deal with my loss as positively as possible. I have my moments, but I live each day grateful for having had him in my life and grateful to be given a second chance to live my life fully for him and me. Yesterday afternoon I had a moment of weakness. It was surreal that he’s no longer here. It still feels like he’d walk in the door any moment now and say, “Hi, honey, I’m home,” but I choked up, realizing that’s never going to happen again even though it feels so real. The disparity between the actual reality and my reality ached in my core, and I wanted to open my chest and rip out the pain so that I wouldn’t feel it again. That wasn’t realistic, but I could write about it, and I vowed to do just that after my walk while the mood was heavy on my heart. Before I got to that, it was time to call my father-in-law. After the call, the mail arrived, and I retrieved it. As I came in the door, my friend Carol called, and we talked for half an hour before we both took care of dinner. After dinner, I remembered wanting to write, but the mood passed. I was sad that I missed the opportunity to record those feelings while they were fresh, but I was grateful that happy moments replaced the melancholy ones.
Our minds are impressionable. We don’t have to harbor negative thoughts. We can live every day well if we choose to think positive thoughts and have the right attitude. Every day is a new day, even if we do the same things every day. It’s a brand spanking new day, and what’s old is new again.