A Moment in My Life – December 5, 2023
Jeannie Yee Davis
I’ll be happy when I finish this task. When this event is over, I’ll be satisfied. Once I land my dream job, I’ll rest. When I meet my soulmate, then I can be happy. Once I finish this, I can begin living the life I want. So on, and so on. Is this you, too? I’m so guilty of it. Maybe not these particular comments, but I live and breathe looking toward the finish line. Always. I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth.
I have a girlfriend who I admire, but as I try to be more like her, I fail every time. I’ll tell you why she amazes me. She said, “Oh, I am having such a wonderful time. I want to savor this moment. I don’t want it to end.” Wow! Her words awed me because I hadn’t known anybody who lived in the moment, but I knew I wanted that. Instead, I’m more prone to “I can’t wait until this is over.” It doesn’t matter if I’m having a blast. I still can’t wait until it’s over. Why am I like this? I often ask myself this question but figured it’s part of my DNA, and I could do nothing about it. It is my constant battle that drove me bonkers. I hated feeling that way but did not know how to remedy the situation except to live with it.
Then, I read a devotional on Psalm 34, which gave me a new perspective to view my situation candidly. A prevailing thought jumped out at me, “it never ends.” It often hit me as a complaint. After I finish this “whatever,” something else will come up and take its place. Something will always pop up, preventing me from reaching “the finish line.” I kept pushing off “living my life” until I got the paperwork done, the stacks of projects that needed my attention, and the tending to the domestic tasks that never ended. Then, it was waiting until after the holidays. Then, there were the family events, church, friends, and so on. It never ends. There will always be something else that I need to handle. So, when do I begin living my life? When will I be happy?
When I read Psalm 34:1, “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips,” it was as if David was talking directly to me. I’ve read this verse before, but it had a new meaning this time. It made perfect sense. This is life. Life is perpetual. It will go on with or without me. It’s a hamster wheel. It’ll spin around and around, and the little guy will jump on and off. Such is life. There will always be something happening. Good. Bad. Ugly. Beautiful. It will keep going. It never ends.
I finally understand my need to reach the finish line. I’m a doer. I get things done. I thrive on completing tasks and doing them well. While in the process, I am stressed out worrying about the outcome. Thus, I can’t wait to get to the end to see how everything plays out. Once I reach the end, I will know if my efforts paid off. It’s a good thing to be a doer, but if my attitude is not grounded, it is a stress-inducing lifestyle. I’m always stressed.
David in Psalm 34 held the solution I’ve been looking for by showing me how to find peace by praising God for today’s mercies, regardless of what tomorrow brings. That’s it. That’s the long and short of it that I needed to hear. I must praise God in everything I do and every moment I live. Praise Him. Praise Him. Praise Him. That’s it. Instead of waiting until the end to be happy, I must be satisfied regardless of what prevents me from reaching my happy place, which I will never find because there will always be something else that will impede my goal. So, I must be happy as I go. Now that I understand this, a change of attitude is the golden ticket to life, where everything keeps coming at you, whether you are ready or not. It never ends.
