Posted in Globfly

Globfly’s 37th-Month Angelversary

Today marks Globfly’s 37th-month Angelversary—three years and a month since he relocated to heaven on 12/17/18. 

It was a no-brainer that I honor Globfly’s memory with this discovery, an “everything but the kitchen sink” cookie from Panera Bread. While shopping for the previous month’s treat, I spotted this cookie, and my first thought was, “I can’t wait for Markie to try this.” Since it’s an old habit, I automatically look for interesting goodies that he might like. 

This colossal cookie reminds me of when we hunted down “the world’s largest” memorabilia like the aloha shirt, ukulele to gold nugget, and even the “the world’s smallest” room. Unique things got our attention. 

In this photo, Globfly was holding a BIG lemon grown in our backyard, which fits into today’s theme. 

I can see Globfly’s dimpled smile as I cut the cookie into quarters and share it with him like we always did. Globfly, here’s to you, honey! I miss you every day more than words can say! ILYVVVVM 💜🖖👊

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“My Hero for the Day”

A Moment in My Life – Friday, January 14, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

I’ve been dreading dealing with a possible oil leak problem. You could say I was procrastinating, but I called it monitoring the situation for a few days to confirm I had a problem. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I also hoped it might be a hiccup and miraculously stopped, then we could pretend it never happened. Who was I kidding? I wouldn’t be comfortable with not knowing the truth. The fact was that something was leaking at one point. I needed to get it checked for peace of mind. Using the finger test emphasized a mild scent of oil. Ugh. My car is too new to have an oil leak problem. 

Sometimes it’s good to procrastinate. Had I taken care of the problem yesterday, I would’ve gone back to Midas straightaway. However, yesterday, I wrote my column, pushing off my car problem a day. In the meantime, I got an epiphany to check with the Nissan service department first since they partnered with Hyundai before the pandemic. Finger crossed that perhaps they would service my Veloster anyway.

I was stunned to see workabees busy setting up the Infiniti shop where the Nissan/old Hyundai service department once was when I drove into their Colma parking lot. Once I hunted down the Nissan service department, I asked Jan, the first person I saw at the counter, who confirmed Infiniti is moving in. Jan also said Hyundai and Nissan were no longer partners. What! Wow! Dealerships are more delicate than relationships. I tell you. 

He asked me what the problem was. I told him I suspected an oil leak. He was curious what the signs were, and luckily I had photos to show him, which he confirmed was an oil leak. Not surprisingly, he directed me to a Hyundai Dealership because I might need parts. This detail was the part I dreaded—going the distance to a Hyundai Dealership when the closest one was in San Leandro or Santa Clara. If my car isn’t well, I don’t want to go the distance. Good thing I had a backup plan. Now, it looks like Midas, here I come. Jan did not like my backup plan at all. He suggested a reputable auto shop, if not a Hyundai Dealership. When I asked for a local auto shop recommendation, he took my number to send me a referral. 

As we said our goodbyes, Jan decided to check with his buddy in the service department to see if he would be willing to take a look at my car anyway. Jan made my day just by offering to check. That news was an answer to prayer. I wanted to get this problem resolved asap, if not today. At least, have a clue what the problem was right away. 

Five minutes after I left, Jan called with the good news that his buddy would help me out. I U-turned and skedaddled back. I couldn’t have asked for better service if I had an appointment. Once I arrived, they took my car in, and voila—there was no oil leak but rather a botched oil change job where they inserted the filter incorrectly. Jan said I just needed another oil change but didn’t suggest returning to Midas. Phew! I can handle that. What a relief! 

There has been a significant decline in products and services during the pandemic, blaming it on Covid, but today, Jan proved one size doesn’t fit all. He could’ve taken the easy road and not bothered with me and sent me on my not-so-merry way since they no longer have a partnership with Hyundai. Instead, Jan went over and above his job title to do an act of kindness, and in turn, did me a huge favor. He helped me cut to the chase and saved me from headaches and worries, not knowing what was wrong with my car. Jan gave me way better service than I had experienced in a very long time. I can’t be more grateful to him, which makes Jan my hero for the day.

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“Fantasy Lover”

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, January 13, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

If you told me you have never had a fantasy lover, I’d say you’re lying. Well, okay, maybe that is your truth. I don’t know. That’s fine. Everybody is entitled to their secrets. Who am I to judge? I figured if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine kind of thing. Ha-ha. I know what you are thinking, and you are right. Whether you tell me or not, I’m going to tell you my story anyhoo. Shall we get to it then?

An old song, “Magnet and Steel” by Walter Egan, grabbed hold of me, flooding my brain with all these thoughts with one thing leading to another, and conversations started flying in my head. You’d think this one prominent conversation sparked this song: “Magnet and Steel,” heavy stuff. Who doesn’t want a love story with magnet and steel in it? Magnet and steel sound inseparable—always and forever like true love, which is everybody’s dream. True. Not everybody cares for true love, but this is my story, and true love rules in my world, so please bear with me.

This new couple I know, I’ll call them Ricky and Lucy, have been seeing each other for a couple of months, but they are no strangers to each other. They have a history and dated in college, but it was short-lived. Fast forward two decades and fate bumped them together with him moving into her suburban neighborhood. What are the chances of that? It sounds like the beginnings of a Hallmark romance to me—especially learning that Ricky had a little crush on Lucy, and she had mutual feelings for him. Oooh, and the plot thickens with magnet and steel.

I know I better taper down my expectations, which is wise because expectations can challenge a relationship. Lucy had me falling for the guy when Ricky said all the right things at the right time to her, virtually swooning me off my feet. I won’t go into details to keep their romance theirs, but trust me, it was romantic. I was thrilled that she found her Mr. Right, and she got to live in a Hallmark romance. Little did I expect what came next.

Spending more quality time together meant seeing who you are when nobody is looking, which can be a good or bad thing. In this case, the first petty annoyance surfaced, leading to their first fight, which exploded, revealing a gazillion minor annoyances. One obvious issue: Ricky’s preconceived expectations of who Lucy is. Here’s my take. Since college, Ricky carried a torch for Lucy and created a lifetime fantasy world starring Ricky and Lucy. That sounds so utterly romantic except for the fact that Ricky is expecting the real-life Lucy to fit into his fantasy character, which is as different a person as the real-life Lucy.

I am no stranger to having a fantasy lover, as I had one throughout my teen years. Eddie Young, oh, how I adored him, my first major school crush. “And where he goes, I’ll follow! I’ll follow! I’ll follow! I will follow him. Follow him wherever he may go,” so the song goes, and I lived it, well, not really, but I would’ve if I could’ve. He was a senior, and I was a freshman at Marina Junior High. Two years kept us apart like Romeo and Juliet. It was a classic YA story with my eyes falling for Eddie on the first bus ride to junior high. We lived on the same block. He, up the West side, and I lived down the East. Day-after-day, I watched at my window for his coming and going hoping to see him again. We were both shy, meaning when I caught sight of him, I hid. A lot of good that does for meeting up, doesn’t it? And that’s when I moved us into my fantasy world, where, since I knew nothing about him, I created everything I thought Eddie would be. 

Eddie and I were at Marina for one year before he graduated and transitioned to Galileo High School. It felt like a lifetime before I would graduate and join him, but fate bused me to Mission High instead when it was my turn. I was madly in love with Eddie for five years despite the hopelessness of seeing him again. Then, one day after school on the N Judah streetcar, Eddie hopped on at Market and Van Ness. I gasped and stopped breathing when I saw that tall, gorgeous guy with thick wavy black hair from my dreams. I hadn’t seen him in two years, and I knew I had to summon the courage to approach him now or never. Since my girlfriends were riding with me, I asked Eddie to get off at the next stop, which he did, and we stood at the bus stop and talked.  

This moment was the first time I heard his voice and learned a bit about the real Eddie, and wow, what a flabbergasting experience. Except for his appearance, the Eddie standing before me was a total stranger who did not fit my make-believe Eddie, the one I worshiped for five years in my fantasy world. Five years of believing certain truths made it difficult to accept any other reality. Eddie was my metal in my fantasy world, and I was steel. It was a sure thing, but meeting the real him, my fantasy lover burst and faded into the fog that day.

And there you have it, my fantasy lover experience. I was young and naive with nothing to compare my truths with, but now in hindsight, I am older and wiser (all these clichés, but they are what they are), and if I had it all over to do, I wouldn’t have let my make-believe truths prevent me from getting to know the real-life Eddie. Who knows, I might have fallen in love with the real him, too, had I given him a chance. 

I can’t do anything about my past, but I can share my truths with others going through a similar experience. I see a lot of similarities in the Ricky and Lucy story, and it saddens me to think that Ricky might lose his dream love because he doesn’t realize that his expectations for Lucy to be the person he created are unrealistic. If my hypothesis is correct, I hope Ricky will recognize that he, like me, has a fantasy lover, who he has unfairly expected to fulfill the character he preconceived her to be. 

For Ricky and me and anybody else like us, we need to leave our make-believe worlds in the fantasy zone and allow all our relationships in real life to play out naturally without prejudiced expectations. Let each surprise us with their uniqueness, which we may or may not like, but they are who they are. The neat part is we can learn to compromise. Lucy said she felt like she couldn’t be herself around Ricky, which is a devastating realization. I’m a firm believer that we should be comfortable around our significant other, especially at home.

There is something quite endearing about loving someone so much that they’d create a make-believe world with them in it. It’s also sad because nothing is better than the real thing. Thus, it’s not every day someone gets an opportunity to live out their fantasy with their fantasy lover as Ricky does. For that reason, I sure hope he does it right and does not blow it. If he does, all he would ever have is Lucy as his fantasy lover.

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“Once Upon a Cruise”

A Moment in My Life – Friday, December 31, 2021

Jeannie Yee Davis

I’ve learned that I shouldn’t count on things remaining the same throughout the year. Regardless of how certain I was that nothing would change. I discovered this by writing a letter to myself at the beginning of the year. A segment on the Kelly Clarkson show inspired me to do this. A school teacher started this project by having his sixth-graders write a “Dear Future Me” letter with their goals and predictions that they would read on graduation day six years later. I found this idea fascinating. Forget the six-year wait. I was curious. What would my life look like at the end of one year? With that thought, I wrote my first “Dear Future Me” letter, and good thing I didn’t wait six years to reveal the surprising outcome.

I began this year very Country thanks to Laine Hardy, and as of today, it looks like I’m ending the year with Reggae. I’m not surprised. Thanks to Alan Walker, I began 2019 loving EDM (Electronic Dance Music) and adopted Country music by yearend. Throughout the year, I’ve been all over the music map, but the beginnings and ends are noteworthy, revealing how eclectic my music tastes are. My music appreciation is diverse, yet the extreme genre change is intriguing. Still, I am excited to discover new music styles. Since I see a pattern, I eagerly anticipate next year’s genre evolution. One constant revelation I checked off my list was that Country music remains high on my list of favorites.

Reading my letter reminded me that I’m still critically hard on myself, and I have proof. I listed a sizable checklist to complete this year. I met only three out of 18 goals, which is pathetic, people! Disturbing! Traumatizing! Disappointing! Shall I go on? You got the picture. 

In January, I was filled with high hopes and so gung-ho, as you could tell from my ambitious checklist. I was inspired, energized, and soaring to the stars in my mind. Everything I set out to do was achievable at that time. My BFF, Noreen, and I planned a celebration trip together in the Spring of 2022 after accomplishing our 2021 objectives. Sadly, I don’t see us celebrating any time soon.

What happened? Life did. As unbelievable as it was, it has been an unusual, crazy, active year, and, to think, we barely came out of Shelter-in-Place. It is hard to keep the pandemic in mind when I think back because so much happened in my life this year, especially with the ripples of lifted mandates that allowed us to socialize in person again. I didn’t feel safe initially, but as soon as I did, I dined with as many loved ones as possible. When in-person meetings weren’t feasible, most of us became acclimated to cyber-socializing, and I was no different. I thought I did the right thing by putting people first, and I had a blast doing so. I became more involved in the online groups I joined, where I met many lovely people, and some of us became friends. The year even included meeting someone special.

Getting more involved when meeting more people means getting more involved—an example, I got recruited as a moderator for a Laine Hardy fan group. After much nudging, I accepted. Now, those who know me know I give my all in my endeavors. This role was no different. I felt Laine’s career and mine mirror each other, and we were both going to soar this year. I wanted him to succeed, so I did everything possible to help get him there, which ended up a full-time job. He is soaring, and that makes me happy. I did my job well, but in hindsight, what about me? Who was helping me soar? By the time I realized this, most of the year had flown by without me. Too much time lapsed to catch up before yearend.

I had a blast with so many people this year. In many ways, I felt like I’d been on a long-term cruise. Shelter-in-Place reminds me of the days at sea onboard a cruise ship where we lived within the means of the ship, and it wasn’t half bad when everything you could imagine to live comfortably was at your fingertips. There was food, events, entertainment, people, music, songs, and dancing everywhere you went. Most of my year contained music, songs, and a new friend cyberly taught me dancing. As I said, I had a blast. Thoughtful friends occasionally dropped off food throughout the year, which feels like room service. When they lifted the mandates and quickly resumed them, it was like being at a port for a day, allowing us to venture out to town.

While cruising, the only way we conducted business in the real world and communicated with people back home was by the internet. Being Sheltered-in-Place was no different. We have been relying on cyberspace for business, shopping, education, workouts, entertainment, and of course, socializing in this pandemic. Thus, I’ve been cruising all year.

I was literally and metaphorically cruising all year. Every cruise for me meant gear in hand, i.e., laptop, planner, and writer’s journal, searching for a quiet open space to write in between events or before someone engaged me into something fun. Much the same way, this has been my story. Remember I said that I thought I did the right thing by putting people first? Well, I did by responding to everybody pronto and saying yes often. No, they didn’t twist my arm. I love being with people, so I cave easily. I started with a daily routine, but changing my plans was often necessary to meet others’ schedules. That was fine and dandy. I always had a good time, but it cost me my productivity.

Time keeps ticking away, but I feel like my life is going nowhere; likewise, a cruise ship keeps sailing, but it gets nowhere except back and forth from port-to-port. After every cruise, there is always much to catch up on, and that’s where I am now. With the year ending, I reflect on all the people I engaged with, the delicious meals we shared, the enlightening conversations I’ve had, and I know I was blessed. People are an essential ingredient to a happy life, but along with the great memories, there was grief, hurts, and disappointments. Being an overachiever, failing to accomplish goals is devastating. 

The good news, and there is some, is that I’ve learned a lot about myself this year, and yes, so I dropped the ball, but one person could do only so much. My new goal is to do a better job balancing everything in my life. One huge takeaway is that I need to lighten up and not be so hard on myself. Nobody is perfect. Striving for perfection, my vice, is setting myself up for failure. With that said, so I didn’t meet all my goals, but tomorrow is another day, a brand new year with 365 days to write my story, and I intend to write a great story that begins with “Once Upon a Cruise.”

Posted in Blog

Globfly’s Third Angelversary

“Forever In My Heart” 

Jeannie Yee Davis

I can’t believe that it’s been three years since you relocated to heaven. Everything is still fresh in my mind, and it feels like it was yesterday, but time betrays me and keeps moving forward. Every day it does, I fear I would forget a little bit more of you and our life together. I don’t want to lose any memory of us! I couldn’t believe Cynthia said I should move away because there are too many memories of you here. Seriously? After you left, I suffered from PTSD without knowing it. All I knew was that I couldn’t remember the simplest things about you, which scared me. It was bad enough losing you, but to lose every memory of your existence was too much to bear. I freaked out and began jotting down every recollection of you I remembered. I knew I would be all right as each memory resurfaced.

I can’t see you, and I can’t hear you, but I feel your presence. It’s funny. Remember how you teased me for saying something to you then ran off before you could answer me, and when you answered, I couldn’t hear you? Well, little did we know, that was the dress rehearsal for our new reality because I talk to you, and I know you are talking back to me, but I can’t hear you—just like old times. It’s comforting knowing some things never change. Yeah, I knew you’d like that. I see you smiling and shaking your head, Markie, and a smile tickles my face.

Cynthia was wrong. I don’t ever want to leave our home for the simple reason that everywhere I look, there is you. Remember when you played the piano, I would bring whatever I was working on into the living room to be near you? I still do that. Every time I pass by your seat in the family room and catch your wiggling finger wave, I smile. I see a shadow cast onto the carpet upstairs, and I know you’re heading into my writing office to look for me just like old times, and I chuckle, knowing that I’m in the other room watching you look for me. Some things never change, right, honey?

I still shop with you in mind. Crazy, right? But, old habits die hard. Food was your passion, and it became a habit to discover unique foods to surprise you and spoil you with your favorite treats. I only wish you would speak louder for me to hear you critique my findings, Markie.

I miss you with a vengeance as reality sets in, confirming that you are not coming through the door this time. I still look, expecting you to appear. With every sound, it’s a natural high that you would be coming through the door any moment with your carefree voice in a sing-song, “Hi, honey, I’m home.” Oh, such music to my ears. And, oh such joy, to run to the door and throw my arms around you and proclaim, “Honey, I missed you!” These moments are evergreen. As are the times you greeted me upon my return home with a puppy boy face and oh so sad voice, “Baby, I missed you! Where have you been all my life?” How could anybody not cave to that?

We were inseparable, you and me, and that hasn’t changed. Everywhere I go, you go. Everything I do, you do with me. We talk to each other. It may not be ideal, but we find ways to do so. I’m thankful you are still, as unconventional as it is, in my life as my guardian angel. You are the best angel for the job because you always have my best interest at heart. Having you near me, I feel confident, strong, and safe, but so often, I still need the real you, Markie. Nothing could replace YOU. There is much that I can’t do without you. Some days are still more challenging than others. 

I long to have a conversation with you every day. I miss your words of wisdom more than you will ever know. You’re privy to everything in my life, but what about you? I miss hearing from you. I always cherish what you think and what you feel. Are you happy? What have you been up to? I don’t even know what to ask you, but I’m curious about your new world. I imagine you are well and get along with the other angels like you got along with people, but what is it like in heaven? I would love to know. What do you do when you’re not watching over me? I miss hearing about your day. I miss hearing you speak, and I miss being with you! I dream of spending a day with you and catching up. I know I ask a lot, but I’m a dreamer.

More often than not, I yearn to fall into your gentle arms and be comforted the way that only you could. I desire our life together as we knew it. It was a beautiful life. We had it made in the shade with purple Kool-Aid. Why couldn’t it last forever? 

Nothing lasts forever except your love for a good Snickerdoodle. I get this feeling that I chose well at your Celebration of Life with your two favorites, Snickerdoodles and lemon meringue pie. Since every year about now, I feel your nudge for a Snickerdoodle, and I hear you say, “You can never have too many Snickerdoodles.” Okay then, you know very well that I aim to please you, my honey. 

You always were, are, and will be the love of my life. And, Markie, like your forever favorite cookie, nothing will stop us from living on forever in my heart.

ILYVM, Globfly! 💜🖖👊

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“The One That Got Away”

A Moment in My Life – Friday, December 10, 2021

Jeannie Yee Davis

Allegra and Chunk finally succumbed to their intensifying feelings for each other. One thing led to another, sending them inadvertently on their first date. It all fell into place seamlessly. It was a solid deal, only to have everything go south the following morning when Allegra announced to Chunk that she didn’t think they should see each other again. The befuddled Chunk speechlessly accommodated Allegra’s wishes and left without an argument. They resumed life as coworkers, pretending the date never happened. Has this ever happened to you? This particular storyline was a scene from this week’s “The Flash,” but it could have conceivably been anybody’s story. 

Fast forward ten years, where the apparent sexual tension between the two prevailed so thick that everybody at S.T.A.R. Labs knew something was up between the two from their nervous, awkward flirtations whenever the two were in the same room. However, both denied anything was going on when asked. They finally admitted their love for each other when Armageddon threatened the end of the world.

Wow! Ten years! Ten years, people! That’s a lifetime—wasted. You never know what might happen in ten years. After my late husband Mark’s first surgery to remove his cancerous thyroids and some cancerous lymph nodes, his oncologist said his cancer might return in twenty years. I went ballistic, freaking out hearing that it might return in twenty years. After everything that transpired, what I would give for those twenty years. A year later, he needed another surgery to remove more cancerous cells. It was a never-ending game. My heart raced, and my body was a pool of jelly every time he got lab results back. It was never good news. It became our new normal to live with the variations of better or worst results. For eight years, we played this game until his body finally lost the fight when leukemia joined the game. Then it was game over. Mark didn’t make ten years with his cancer.

During the last weeks of Mark’s life, I prayed for a miracle. Since I expected a miracle, I needed to stay optimistic and uplifting for Mark, giving him hope and avoiding any talk that indicated death. On the other hand, I should have addressed the final moments. Discussing the end felt like I was a hypocrite—not trusting God would deliver the miracle. I now know that avoiding the last stage did nobody any good. In hindsight, I should have asked all the questions I could think of while Mark was here. It was Catch-22, giving him hope while preparing for the worst. 

I know better now. Once I learned of my soul sister Lenore’s terminal cancer from her roommate, Matt, I knew I needed to hustle and tell her everything I wanted to say to her while she was still with us. I hoped that she would have her final words for me, too. You can imagine how devastated I was when Matt told me not to say anything to Lenore that reminds her of her cancer. Excuse me? How does this work? She knows she has terminal cancer. She knows she has weeks left. What was the sense in disguising that? At this point, if we dance around the elephant in the room, we can’t say the heart-felt words that we want to say. How do you tell her everything she means to you without her suspecting that this might be the last time I get to spill my heart out to her? It’s crazy. I did the best I could to spill my heart without upsetting her.

Words, in the end, are all that we have to get our message across without being misunderstood. I’ve always known how imperative communication is, but being human, the simple act of communicating is the scariest and most challenging thing to do. It’s irrelevant whether it’s good or bad. Talking to another person is the hardest thing for us to do, which explains why Allegra and Chunk, who saw each other daily and were insanely in love with each other, but they couldn’t divulge that to each other. They would rather live without experiencing the love together than risk the spoken word’s rejection.

This story reminds me of a friend who finally connected with a guy she had a crush on for years. She was ecstatic to learn that he had a crush on her for a while as well. They were in the early stages of getting to know each other and hitting it off nicely. They had much in common, and they enjoyed being together, especially sharing bear hugs. Although their story spanned a month, but similar to Allegra and Chunk’s story, one day, it went south without a word. They appear to be still friends, but whatever potential romance might have been—fizzled. Why? Why do these things happen? She got me at the edge of my seat. I want to know what happened! I am curious how the story ends.

I am a firm believer in talking things out. Our minds are tremendous storytellers. We tell ourselves stories all the time. It may not be the truth, and most likely is the wrong interpretation of the situation. That can cause havoc in relationships. Nobody knows what is going on in someone’s mind or life unless they tell us what’s going on. The reader could easily mistake something as simple as a comment in a FB post. That’s when it’s unfortunate when people don’t ask for clarification. It breaks my heart to think people would make up what they think you mean instead of asking you directly. Can you imagine the hurt relationships that stem from misinterpretations of words spoken? Or no words are spoken like when someone has a change of heart in a relationship for whatever reason, and they walk away without talking things out or giving the other person the respect of an explanation.

Relationships are the most important thing in our lives, and communication keeps the relationship strong and healthy. I know it is horrifying to face someone and tell them your heart, whether love or hurt. It’s never easy, but we have to try because there is nothing worse than blowing a good relationship over the fear of rejection or hurt or a misunderstanding. Sure, after you talk things out, maybe the right course of action might be to go separate ways, but at least you both agree, and you know how you got there and where you’re going. For me, there is nothing worse than the unknown of why a relationship didn’t work out. 

We don’t always have control over how people handle situations, but ideally, I would like to avoid at all costs not letting this become my reality of having to mourn the one that got away.

Posted in Blog

My North Star

A Tribute to Lenore Laumann

Jeannie Yee Davis

Remember the days of Prodigy? If memory serves, Prodigy was our first internet provider. I used it solely for email, whereas my late husband, Mark, frequented the Star Trek chat groups where he met Lenore. Immediately after each Star Trek Next Generation episode, they got online and shared remarks about the show. Eventually, they added Deep Space Nine and other Sci-Fi series to their list. They remained faithful to the Sci-Fi TV shows. Then one day, I happened along and added my two cents. The next thing we knew, Lenore and I began chatting. 

Have you ever met someone who fitted into your life perfectly, unconditionally, with no strings attached—even though you never met them in person? That was us, Lenore, Mark, and me. Lenore preferred to keep our relationship on the page for personal reasons, which wasn’t a big deal since I grew up with pen pals from across the world, whom I’ve never met, yet we became good friends through letters. This is no different. The three of us remained close friends after the series ended. We even changed to the same internet provider when the time came. We took our friendship out into the real world, where Lenore and I kept our conversations going via email and later snail mail when she gave up the internet altogether. Our conversations expanded far beyond the Sci-Fi TV shows. We went wherever the wind took us, and that was the beginning of a beautiful lifelong friendship.

Lenore has been there with me throughout my adult development years. She rejoiced with me on my career successes and was my shoulder to cry on through my life trials. Lenore and I share the same values, but since we are from different parts of the country, we have different cultural experiences and points of view. She was my sounding board, who always gave me a new perspective that helped me see through the other person’s eyes, which I would never have considered had it not been for her. 

We share so many passions. We enjoy the same kinds of movies and TV shows, other than Sci-Fi. We love food, and although we can’t share a meal as I do with my other friends, we manage to share our favorite foods by sending them to each other. We swap recipes, too. We love music, and get this—we both love drums! Can you believe that? We’re both creative. She’s an artist, and I’m a writer. Oh, I would have loved to hang out with her, and she could paint while I wrote. It’s a beautiful dream. Speaking of dreams, one night long ago, I dreamed that Lenore and I met at an outdoor restaurant for lunch. It was a beautiful clear day with a light breeze, and she was tall and radiant with her blond wavy locks and peasant-style dress. I couldn’t make out her face, but I felt her presence so strongly that I thought we had been together. My description of her blew Lenore away at how accurate my vision of her was.

Lenore, along with Mark, has been there with me from day one of my writing career. Next to Mark, Lenore read every single one of my manuscripts, adding her honest feedback. She and Mark cared about my work as much I do. She loved almost everything I wrote—not everything. That’s where a solid relationship is imperative. We spoke the truth to each other without the fear of breaking the relationship. We didn’t always agree, but when we didn’t, we agreed to disagree. When it was appropriate, I edited per her suggestions, improving my story. However, sometimes, I stuck with my words, and she was okay with that. Lenore knew me so well that anytime I fell off my center or was in a writing rut, she guided me back to me. I could always count on her because she knew my voice better than I did. Lenore is my rock and mentor. I’ve relied on her heavily after Mark’s demise. 

We were strangers who met on the internet, but our friendship lasted through the test of time. We have celebrated every major holiday and each other’s birthdays, and we have become family. She and I have so much in common that we knew we were kindred spirits and soul sisters. 

When you have a special person like Lenore in your life, how do you live without them? That is the question looming over me. Over the years, I was always the sickly one, in and out of the hospital. In contrast, Lenore caught a cold or the flu every so often. I always thought that I would leave this earth before her. Never did I imagine that it would be the other way around. Now, I am so sad that our time together is coming to an end. I can’t believe that cancer is claiming another person I love. 

The other day, the song “You Make Me Feel Brand New” came on my Amazon autoplay, and as The Stylistics belted out the soulful words, a lump appeared in my throat, and before I knew it, the tears well up in my eyes—each word ached within me. “How do I repay you for having faith in me?” “Created everything I am.” “Taught me how to live again.” “Believed in me through thick and thin.” It was as if this was a song that I wrote for Lenore. And it goes, “Whenever I was insecure. You built me up and made me sure. You gave my pride back to me.” 

I pray God will bless Lenore with a miracle because I am not ready to let go of my soul sister, mentor, and BFF, who has always had my best interest at heart and has kept me on the right path throughout my life. Lenore believed in me when I didn’t have faith in myself. She helped me be a better person. When I was down or in a rut, Lenore picked me up and helped me live again. She was my cheerleader through every endeavor. I love her more than she will ever know. I already feel very alone, knowing that Lenore won’t be with me for much longer. As the song goes, “Without you, life has no meaning or rhyme. Like notes to a song out of time. How can I repay you for having faith in me?” There is no way I can repay her for all that she has been to me. I write this tribute filled with gratitude and love to Lenore as my attempt to let her know what she means to me. 

Lenore, I love you and miss you already. I am sad you won’t be here to tell me what you think about my new novel or see it get published. I have always valued your opinion. I’m sad you won’t be here to see my book appear as part of the Hallmark movie lineup. I’m sad we won’t be sharing our life anymore. My life will be so empty without you in it. I will miss our conversations. I will miss YOU every day, even though I know that you will always be my north star.

Posted in Reflections

Globfly’s 35th-month Angelversary

Delayed Posting as of 11/17/21.

Today marks Globfly’s 35th-month Angelversary—two years and eleven months since he relocated to heaven on 12/17/18.

I am honoring Globfly’s memory this month with carrot cake. During Globfly and my early dating days, we often went to Arthur’s by the Park for carrot cake, which was another first that he introduced to me.

Today’s slice is not his favorite carrot cake, but I couldn’t see making a whole cake for one portion. His favorite carrot cake is homemade, a la my Big Sis’ secret recipe, which after years, I convinced her to give me the recipe. I’m grateful for it because I got to make it for Globfly many times. Also, with my ambitious writing schedule this month, I don’t have time to bake. This slice from Rubicon Bakery reminds me of Arthur’s, and I am sure Globfly would approve.

Globfly here’s to you, honey! I miss you every day more than words can say! ILYVVVVM 💜🖖👊

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“1020 Stockton Street”

A Moment in My Life – Friday, October 29, 2021

Jeannie Yee Davis

I rarely go to San Francisco’s Chinatown. The last time was during my family’s previous visit from San Diego. Nothing beats a real Chinatown shopping spree when you’re not a local. Isn’t that how it always goes? I live just outside of San Francisco, and I never go there. My family lives in Southern Cal, and Chinatown is on their agenda every time they visit. When I hang out with my family, they take me places that I don’t typically go, and it’s mounds of fun for me to follow them around as they collect whatever is on their lists. 

We parked at the Plymouth Square Garage. When we elevated to the surface to Plymouth Square, a stale smell of cigarettes greeted us on the sunny and unusually windless day. Numerous small groups of Chinese people gathered around cardboard boxes playing cards. While other people congregated to enjoy the busker singing with a lovely instrumental assemble behind her. It was tempting to linger and enjoy the music. Except, we were on a tight schedule—lots to do and little time to do it all in. After all, we were heading to City View for a dim sum lunch. Dim sum never gets old. It doesn’t matter what city you partake dim sum in. Dim sum is a “must-have.” Something about having dim sum in Chinatown sets the mood for the day.

My niece said that she loves it when other people order for her because she’s introduced to unique foods that she might never have experienced. I feel the same way about tagging along with others. I experience things that I might never have considered myself. Such as the Fortune Cookie Factory, which I wouldn’t think of checking out, but since my younger sister wanted to go there, I didn’t mind trekking along. It’s been ages since I was there. I did not expect anything more than the regular shaped fortune cookies, the small and large flat round ones, and possibly a bag of the multi-colored cookies that was the craze during my last visit there. It was fun tasting the pink strawberry-flavored cookie and the brown cookie that tasted like chocolate. 

Times have changed, and we go with the flow. This time, there was a line to go in with a Covid vaccine check at the entrance as you whiff the delicious sweet famous scent of the fortune cookie in the making. We filed in assembly style and observed their shelves where now, to my surprise, there was a nice assortment of cookie choices to choose from. The first display caught my eye and stole my attention. They had chocolate-dipped cookies in a variety of colors. Who’d think they’d have cookies dipped in lavender? I wasn’t planning on buying anything, but for purple cookies, I would. It cost an arm, but I had to have that! Interestingly, they had porn cookies! Really? Well, it turned out their version of porn was harmless. The author with the handle “Fu Ling You says” delivered off-the-wall humor quotes like “Artificial insemination is copulation without representation.” Haha haha. Cute. I even got a purple shopping bag! I was on Purple Heaven. By the way, these cookies were worth every penny. They were the freshest, most delicate fortune cookies I’ve ever eaten.

After leaving Ross Alley, my family went in and out of shops along Jackson Street towards Stockton Street. I loitered on the street as I waited for them, and that was when I noticed the view of the Bay Bridge backdrop from Jackson Street for the first time. What a magnificent sight! I was awe-stricken. Sure, I’ve seen the bridge closeup and even outside my office window, but there was a new meaning of seeing it from Chinatown. I don’t know why. It felt personal to me. 

Once we ventured onto Stockton Street, my family divided to conquer more shops, so I continued taking photos. I stood at the corner of Jackson and Stockton and snapped a photo of Grandma and Grandpa’s apartment building across the street diagonal to where I was standing for old time’s sake when I decided to go over and snap a picture of the front door. Well, that wasn’t enough. I placed my phone up to the door window, trying to take some shots of the lobby when someone came out. I stepped aside to let the man out. I’m a bit of a slow thinker at times. After the door latched shut, I thought how nice it would be to go inside and look around. Before I knew it, an older man approached. I stepped aside. He unlocked the door and went in. This time, I followed him inside. It was darker, muskier, with a smaller lobby and stairwell than when I was nine years old. After our family of five relocated from Canada, we lived in Grandma and Grandpa’s one-bedroom apartment on the fourth floor for a month or so. At the same time, my newly widowed Auntie, her infant, and two toddlers moved in just before we did. It was a full house before the TV series was born. 

To this day, I wonder where everybody slept. I’ve asked each member of the family, but nobody had an answer for me, to my surprise. I guess I’ll never get my answer. All I know is that I slept in the Ernie Ford foldaway bed (from “I Love Lucy” fame) in the kitchen. 

I didn’t stop there. I was curious if my elementary school was still there. I peeked around the corner, and it was right where I left it, but it had barricades due to construction. It was comforting that Commodore Stockton remained standing. 

After my fun going down memory lane, I found my older sister in a dry good shop. Remember I said I’m a slow thinker sometimes? Well, after waiting on the street for a bit, it dawned on me that I should tail my Big Sis and learn how to shop for authentic Chinese food items. The short time I followed her, I learned the best-dried mushrooms and scallops to buy. At that moment, I wish she lived closer so that I could tail her more often. I laughed when I remembered I got bused to another high school, and I was relieved finally to be out of my older sister’s shadow. Now, I long to follow her? Too funny. But that shows how much things have changed—not only with people but with things and places.

Soon, it was time to head for home. The quick spree through Chinatown was delightful. We all had a great time doing our own thing. Every time I venture into Chinatown, it is like a new town for me. Everything keeps on changing, but it is reassuring to see some things never change, like Grandma’s and Grandpa’s apartment building, where we called home for a while at 1020 Stockton Street.

Posted in A Moment in My Life

“In Simpler Times”

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, October 28, 2021

Jeannie Yee Davis

I long for simpler times. I missed yesteryear of being disciplined with a schedule that worked for me. I miss writing my column five days a week. The silver lining from being sheltered-in-place was that it afforded me the time to get disciplined and set good habits to write every weekday, whether I felt like it or not. My goal was to complete my column by noon each day. I didn’t know whether I could pull it off or not. I just did it, and it came together for over 180 columns. The funny thing was that being sheltered-in-place, I had nowhere to go and nothing to do, yet I managed to write about engaging topics each day. Where did those days go?

I’m grateful for shelter-in-place for the sole reason that I launched my writing career without external distractions. It’s hard enough fighting the internal nuisances without any outside provocation. Sometimes, you can’t help it. Life happens, and when it does, you have to go with the flow. Despite the pandemic, my family came to town for our cousin Heman’s funeral in the early fall. There are always pros and cons to every event. It was lovely being with people again, but it was hard to rebound from the diversion. Before I made it back to my routine, I participated in writing a novel for the November writing month, and then it was time to prepare for the holidays, and you know how that goes. It wasn’t until after the holidays did I get back on course.

Over Christmas, I fell madly in love with Laine Hardy and soaked up everything I could find on him, and he made me happy. Laine saw me through each day with his songs cheering me up—especially when he sang “Louisiana Lady.” As the song goes, “when we’re together, everything’s all right,” and when I listened to his music, everything was all right in my world. We were both starting our careers—he with his music and me with my writing. In the beginning, we mirrored each other, and I had so many plans that I couldn’t wait to flush them out. I was beyond excited for him and me. I wanted us to succeed. I felt he and I were both shooting for our stars this year. Well, one of us is making it happen while the other sadly got sidetracked.

My first quarter was floating along nicely, and my Seattle BFF and I planned a trip together next Spring to celebrate each of our successful endeavors. Then life happened, and I took on more than I could chew, spiraling my plans south. I began writing short fiction weekly while maintaining my columns, but it became harder and harder to juggle the two. When that was already a challenge, I got recruited as a moderator for The Team Hardy Fan Group, which I declined. Still, after much persuading, I caved and accepted as I honestly wanted to help Laine soar. If that wasn’t enough, then came my stalker, who ate up two months of my life, simply by interjecting himself into every aspect of my world and suffocating me in the process. It’s incredible having someone constantly there distracting you from getting anything done. I know what you’re thinking. I should’ve put a stop to it sooner. It’s easy to say that from the outside looking in. When you’re in the heat of the situation, it’s not that transparent. It took me six weeks into the friendship before I realized it was taking a massive toll on me before I attempted to dial it down. Long story short, I quit the moderator role since Laine’s career is soaring. Now, I need to concentrate on my career. I also removed the stalker from my life, freeing up my time to focus on what’s important.

Being off course for most of this year, it’s not easy to get back on track. Lately, I feel like my life has been a chaotic mess. I’m barely able to write a column, let alone write one daily. I don’t get started writing until late afternoon. If I do write, I don’t finish until late in the evening. It’s not my ideal, but I’m grateful that I wrote. Days go by when I have no idea what to write. What happened to those days when I had nowhere to go and nothing to do, yet I managed to write about engaging topics each day? I’m busy as heck now, and I have no time to write, but that doesn’t matter because I have nothing to write either.  

That’s not true. I have plenty to write about since the world reopened, I’ve spent time with many people, and I’ve gone to some places. Yet, I have nothing to write? What is wrong with this picture? Oh, I got it. Life is full of experiences, conveniences, and luxuries that only we get to experience in this time period. The problem is that my mind is overwhelmed with information. I realized this a moment ago when a FB friend commented that she loves stories like what I shared on FB about visiting my grandparents’ apartment, where we stayed with them briefly when we moved to San Francisco. That comment was a lightbulb moment for me. Suddenly, all these story ideas flashed before me, and I do have story ideas. Now, I need to manage my schedule and rebuild my routine to get back to my good habits. 

My family’s one-week vacation here just ended, and I’m playing catchup on everything that I didn’t do while they were here. I had a great time with them making coming down from vacay more challenging. Here we are again with November approaching, and it’s NaNoWriMo time again. I’m shooting for writing a novel again. Then, it’s time to prepare for the holidays. See, it’s a vicious cycle. I’m so sorry that I fell off my good habits, it’s incredibly late in the year, but I shan’t give up trying to get back on course. It is what it is. Here’s what I need to do. I need to simplify, set a new game plan, add discipline, and enjoy my path like how it was in simpler times.