Category: A Moment in My Life

A Moment in My Life – Friday, April 8, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

Sometimes I wonder if, in my efforts to stay out of trouble, I’ve teleported myself into a repressed fantasy world like Pleasantville, the 1998 fantasy-comedy-drama movie. The characters were enthused and happy, just like me in my happy place, but what will happen when I return to living in the real world with real people? Today, I got a glimpse of that reality, just like reality eventually seeped into the scenes in the movie.

I followed behind and admired the shiny wine-colored 4×4 Jeep on Westborough on my way to the Safeway on Gellert in South San Francisco. A story idea for a romance starring someone driving this neat-looking vehicle played in my mind while I stared at the Jeep’s rear at a stoplight. Wouldn’t it be cool if a character in a romance drove this car? That was it. My muse began forming the story. I kept driving up the street, and just as he started his right turn onto Gellert, Mr. Jeep stopped, stuck behind a truck making a right turn at the gas station. I had plenty of room to see ahead of him, and he wasn’t going anywhere soon. So, I swung around Mr. Jeep’s left side and attempted to go around him and get back into our lane ahead of him.

At my snap decision, I was confident I could make this maneuver before he could hit the gas pedal. It was a short block to the next red light, but I could undertake him had he not gunned it and raced me to the spot we apparently both coveted. I was right. Okay, I’m not showing off here but simply proving that my judgment wasn’t flawed. I made it back into our lane behind the car sitting at the red light, but not without Mr. Jeep racing along my right side and serenading me with his steady horn that resonated between my ears, crossing my eyeballs, all the way to my spot. 

He finally traded places with his horn by rolling down his window and yelling explicit language at me that I would not repeat. His Jeep was slightly behind my Veloster in his lane, so I moved my body to look out my passenger side window and stared into Mr. Jeep’s bespectacled blue eyes. His salt n pepper crew cut accentuated his crimson face down his pink neck, and I waved apologetically at him. He then moved up alongside me, still exercising his powerful lungs. I rolled down my window, looked him in the eyes, and hollered over his voice, “I’m sorry!” He kept yelling fun words at me, and I kept yelling back, “I’m sorry!” He eventually ran out of things to yell at me. He finally told me to slow down and not drive so fast. It was tempting to say that none of this would’ve happened had he not chosen to race me, but I decided to keep on apologizing and not add more fuel to his fire. It was more beneficial to defuse his anger.

Once he calmed down, we concluded with me saying, “Have a nice day!”

And he surprised me by responding, “Have a great day!” 

We rolled up our windows just as the light turned green. That was a very long red light if you asked me. Guess where Mr. Jeep was going? You guessed it. He turned into the Safeway parking lot right behind me. Okay, no problem. We can coexist at the supermarket. He chose to park on the far end of the parking lot away from me. Good choice. 

Did I say I plan to write a romance starring his Jeep? I did, didn’t I? Well, it was the man’s transgressions and not the car. I won’t punish the Jeep for Mr. Jeep’s colorful behavior. However, I was surprised that he was as contentious as he was. I don’t think he had a good look at me before lashing out. It felt like it didn’t matter who I was. He was going to give me a piece of his mind, regardless. 

Would you like to know what I think about that? I think he’s nuts. I sure hope I won’t see him on the evening news one night. With all the crazies in the world right now, you don’t know who might pull a gun on you. Why would you lash out at someone, especially over something so trivial? 

Then, I wonder, with all the depression in the world today. With Covid, war, crime sprees, racial hatred, and all the loss, wouldn’t you think people would be kinder to one another? If nothing else, we’re living in a time of war, which I honestly never thought I’d see in my lifetime, but we’re witnessing a real-time war, not a movie or a documentary. We observe the devastation caused by war and many people’s lives destroyed. Isn’t that alone enough to make you appreciate what you have and that you’re still here to enjoy each day relatively normally?

Granted, I don’t know Mr. Jeep’s story. He might have gone through hell and back; thus, his short fuse. I’m just glad that our altercation ended amicably. We’ve experienced some scary episodes in just two short years that I’m sure none of us ever dreamed we would have experienced. 

So many people have taken the road to do good for others. What about the rest of the world? I’m not talking about a grand gesture, but little things like small acts of kindness that tell people you are thankful to be alive and well, and you are grateful to have people in the world with you—or being a little more. A little more patient. A little more understanding. A little more forgiving. A little more helpful. A little more loving. Just a little more of oneself.

Maybe living in Pleasantville warped my view, but I can’t help but wonder when people will be kind to one another and love one another as themselves. With all we’ve gone through, isn’t now a good time? When, if not now?

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

Yesterday I shared my power junkie/outage story with you, but there’s more. I wasn’t done talking. I know you’re not surprised. If it’s any consolation, I saved the best for today. Since Sunday’s blackout was the longest one I’ve experienced, it gave me a lot of ideas on surviving my next power outage. I admit it was not a good feeling to be in the dark for eleven hours. I felt vulnerable and a little panicky when the power wasn’t restored within a few hours like it always did. 

This experience helped me realize how ill-prepared I was for a prolonged outage. Still, it was a fantastic opportunity to learn what I could do better to equip myself for a future power outage. If you feel ill-prepared like me, I want to share some ideas that I learned during this ordeal. It’s not comprehensive, but it’s a good starting point to reduce stress and panic and help you make the best of an uncomfortable situation.

Signing up for PG&E text alerts was a huge stress reliever, which I would suggest everyone do the same. Without power means no Wi-Fi, making it inconvenient to google the problem. PG&E’s alerts provide the cause of the problem, what they’re doing about it, the restoration ETA, and any available updates. A must-have if you asked me.

During the grass-fire months last year, we endured a slew of rolling brownouts, which prompted me to charge all my devices before going to bed just in case the power went out overnight. I also kept my backup chargers for my devices charged, but I found one of my two power packs deader than dead this Sunday. Luckily, the smaller power pack was half-charged, enough to charge my iPhone fully. I got sloppy and forgot to check my power packs periodically. When I needed them was not the time to discover that lapse. Routinely checking the power packs needs to be a high priority. 

My backup lighting source was an assortment of candles, primarily gifts from yesteryear, to show how antiquated I am and how infrequent I needed to execute my backup plan. They worked. They provided ambiance, which was great if you don’t need much lighting. And also, it was essential to have some form of firestarter method. If you’re relying on a firestarter stick, I recommend routinely checking them to ensure it sparks. It’s not a bad idea to keep matches on hand.

However, after my ordeal, I learned about lanterns—a totally new concept, which I’m heading to the store and adding a few to my emergency collection. Lanterns sound like the perfect lighting solution as they run on batteries, give out bright light, are a non-fire hazard, and are portable. I highly recommend this option and some long-lasting, powerful flashlights to keep on hand. Stick-on the wall, battery-powered remote-controlled lights are an option for the bathroom or something like that if you’re interested. 

Next up, let’s talk food. My first panic was, “what am I going to have for dinner?” I honestly had no idea. I had a meal planned for the night’s dinner, but it required cooking, which was not an option. Luckily, I am a survivor, and my brain kicked into survivor mode. I went with canned salmon and what I had on hand and turned it into a salmon salad sandwich. I had a satisfying dinner adding low sodium potato chips, an Envy apple, and Soda Stream Cola to complete the meal. I figured I could have a PB&J sandwich later if I got hungry, which I didn’t. Knowing that was an option relieved my panic. These food items kickstarted my brain to mentally scan my shelves and fridge for other food ideas that I could put into a meal if needed. Including if I had to, I could walk out to Round Table and buy a small pizza, which I could eat cold. 

I’ve learned that we could eat many canned goods right out of the can without heating—they’re cooked and edible. This idea was another totally new concept because I’m a creature of habit who follows instructions and rules. The can says, “heat whatever way,” I heat whatever way. So, eating right out of the can is crazy, but it’s real. My older sister introduced me to Spaghetti O and Chef Boyardee ravioli as two items that I could eat without reheating. She spiraled me down this new path, and I discovered the same is true with a can of baked beans. It’s pretty delicious. She said that if I have a bag of ramen noodles, which I always do, I could eat it with my fingers for a quick meal. Really? Another totally new concept! Who woulda thunk dat? 

I prepared a list at the end of this column with many suggestions, which I’m not discussing here. Still, all the food items I listed could be interchanged and customized, so let your imagination and creativity roam free. If you have ideas and suggestions, please feel free to share them with me, as I always love learning new things.

The last thing on my list is what you can do to pass the time. Once we take care of the backup lighting source, we should be able to do quite a few things. With our fully charged phones, we could watch a movie or do whatever we do on our phones. We could call someone and catch up. Or, play a game and have everybody come up with meal suggestions that y’all could make together, and then make those dishes. Afterward, you’ve got a small feast for a candlelit party. Does anybody play an instrument? Now sounds like a good time to show us what you got for Christmas. Learn dancing like line dancing, perhaps? Or, how about playing a get-to-know-who-you-are-now game? We’re all changing and growing, and we’re busy, so here’s an opportunity to catch up with each other. If you’re feeling anti-social, you have no excuse but to catch up on those projects that you never had time to do. If all else fails, take a nap.

Anyhoo, I always try to turn a situation around and make it the best that I can, and today I shared what transpired from my recent power outage ordeal. It made me stronger, more confident, and now with all these fun and yummy ideas, I no longer fear or dread a power outage because I will be prepared for next time. With everything I’ve learned, “mo pow’r to me.”

• Ways to Prepare for a Power Outage
  • PG&E Alerts
    • Sign up
    • Jot down PG&E’s phone # in case they don’t update you
  • Back up chargers
    • Keep them charged and ready to perform
  • Lights
    • Candles – long-lasting in secured glass holders
      • Firestarter sticks – check sparks periodically 
      • Matches – keep them on hand
    • Lanterns – available at Costco, Amazon, Target, etc.
    • High-power long-range flashlights
    • Battery-powered stick-on lights – available at Costco, Amazon, Target, etc.
  • Foods
    • Can goodies that don’t require heating
      • Tuna
      • Salmon
      • Baked beans
      • Chef Boyardee raviolis
      • Spaghetti O
      • Assorted beans: black beans, pinto, garbanzo
      • Fruit cocktail
      • Peaches
      • Tangerines
    • Meals:
      • Tuna or Salmon salad sandwich
      • Pizza can be eaten cold
      • Ramen eaten like chips
      • Tacos 
      • Tortilla wraps
      • Cereal
      • Tofu 
      • Precooked ground protein
      • Leftover rice
      • Cold cuts
    • Salads
      • Throw together whatever you have except the kitchen sink
      • Tuna salad 
      • Salmon salad
      • Mixed bean Salad
      • Spinach and can tangerine salad
      • Waldorf salad with rotisserie chicken if you have the ingredients or make it up as you go
    • Beverages
      • Tea steeped in room temperature water
      • Chocolate powder in milk instead of hot cocoa
    • Sweets
      • Pudding cups
      • Fruit cups like cocktails or peaches
      • Fresh fruits
      • Yogurt parfaits 
    • Snacks
      • PB&J sandwiches
      • Trail mix
      • Raw nuts 
      • Dried fruits
      • Chex mix 
      • Cereal with milk or eaten like trail mix
      • Crackers with cheese and apple
      • Celery and carrot tray dipped in ranch dressing or hummus
      • Potato chips dipped in ranch dressing
      • Raw veggie and cold cuts Kababs
  • Things to do
    • Call someone to catch up
    • Read on iPad, if you can
    • Watch a movie online, if you can
    • Play a game to see how many creative meals y’all can make together
    • Make the meals together and have a mini-party in candlelight
    • Play an instrument? Now’s a good time. 
    • Learn to line dance
    • Talk – catch up 
    • Play a discover-who-you-are-now game 
    • Other projects you didn’t have time to work on but have no excuse to now

A Moment in My Life – Monday, March 28, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

Let’s see some hands here. How many of you caught the Oscars last night? If you missed it, don’t feel bad. You weren’t alone. A funny thing happened to me on my way to the Oscars last evening. I don’t think it was in my cards to be there in any form or fashion. Granted, my ticket to the big event was via my Dish DVR, but even so, I wasn’t supposed to participate. It would’ve been my first. I’ve never been interested in award shows, but I was intrigued and excited this time and couldn’t wait for the day to come. I even set the timer to record the pre-show and the post-show, not just the award ceremony itself. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. I went a little overboard, but that’s kind of my personality—all or none. This time, I was all in. I wanted to be there to observe the cast and crew of CODA accept their numerous winnings. They got nominated in 23 categories. They’re the first primarily hearing-impaired cast, and that’s impressive. With so many people coming out, why not the hearing challenged? It’s about time. You go, people!

I wanted to earn my long TV viewing hours yesterday, so I busied myself after church with tasks that needed my attention, like laundry, watering the plants, doing the credit card recon, etc. I turned on the DVR half an hour after the recording started, just in time to catch a bubbly commercial. I ran off to take care of one more thing, but I stopped in my tracks to the deafening silence in the room that made me glance at the TV screen to see what was playing—nothing, just a big, black screen to match the silence. What? What’s going on? Instinctively, I glanced at the microwave where I expected to see the lit clock display, which was also black—power outage! Ugh! Seriously? On Oscars night? Man, this was not cool. I can see a slew of complaints heading PG&E’s way.

I texted my BFF, Lena, who lives nearby. Her neighborhood is a regular with power outages. Since a fire station is half a mile away from me, my community rarely gets an outage. If and when we do, it typically doesn’t last long. Surprisingly, the outage spared Lena’s area this time, but not mine. As we chatted, PG&E dropped me a text update. They have a power outage impacting 3,615 homes and may affect my home. No kidding. They expected restoration by 6 pm. At 6:03, PG&E updated me that an equipment problem caused the outage. They were working to restore power with an ETA of 1:00 am. Monday. Great! That’s it for me—no Oscars tonight or ever. Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but can you blame me?

It’s such a blessing to have loving people in your life. The sweetheart that she is, Lena, offered to pick up food for me. I declined. Then she invited me to hang out at her house until power returned. I declined. I didn’t want to bother with the garage door, so she offered to pick me up! What a sweetheart! I refused again because I didn’t know the outage impacted areas besides my community. I didn’t want us roaming the blackened streets, especially after she dropped me off. I sure didn’t want her driving home in the dark.

It had to be a brumous day for the power outage, and at 6:00, it was a bit too dark in my kitchen. I set up all the emergency candles from storage and decided to make dinner while I could still see. I am so blind in the dark. I could find a speck for you in the light, but I can’t see a large object in the night. Twilight is the worse. One October evening, my niece and I went out for our daily walk in San Diego, she pointed at a rabbit in the grass, but I couldn’t see a rabbit if my life depended on it. One early November evening at the tail end of twilight, I went to Iggy and Kevin’s. Kevin and Irwin greeted me from yards away in the parking lot. It amazed me they could see me. I couldn’t see their faces. So, as you can see, I needed to hustle and take care of dinner while there was some light from outside. For the fun part, what to do about dinner that didn’t require heat or cooking based upon what I had on hand?

I started with a salmon salad sandwich when I remembered a pot of black fungus tea simmered on my gas stove during the power outage, giving me false hope. I got all excited. I could have a shrimp ramen soup for dinner. Wrong! Once the gas burner was off, it wouldn’t ignite without power. So much for that idea. Back to plan A. Thank God for plan A.

This outage was the most prolonged power outage I remember experiencing, and it was a good idea to stay home and go with it, which gave me a first-hand experience of life without power. I empathized with those affected by the loss of power and water in Ukraine, but now I could sympathize with them better. I can’t imagine not having water, too. It was challenging enough without power for eleven hours. I am so incredibly spoiled by my freedom to have access to power whenever I want it. I pride myself not taking anything for granted, but yesterday, I realized I took power for granted every day. Each time I turn around to do something, it requires power, the internet, my Mac, iPad, phone, the microwave, the hot water dispenser, the fridge, the toaster, TV, garage door, stovetop, oven, and the dishwasher, and the garbage disposal, etc. I knew I couldn’t run the dishwasher, but I could prep it to run when the power came back. But I laugh at myself. I attempted to run the garbage disposal in my prep and had a rude awakening that the disposal also doesn’t perform without power. I knew that, but I momentarily forgot. The little things we overlook. Then, the most important thing of all—lights, without which we are in the dark, unable to do even the minor tasks.

Nothing like losing something you can’t live without to appreciate it more. I knew I couldn’t live without my Wi-Fi and my cyber world, but I took for granted my survival world until last night. That’s fine if I had to sacrifice the Oscars. I’ll catch the highlights that they’ll be talking about for weeks. Having lived through the outage, I am wiser today, which is more important. I know how to equip myself for future outages better. It was an eye-opening experience for anybody, particularly me, since I’m a power junkie.

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, March 24, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

I ignored the 5 o’clock alarm yesterday morning, planning to take the ten-minute snooze. I just needed a few more Zzzz. The night before, just as I climbed into bed, I got a second wind with a strong desire to write. When my muse calls, I answer. I surely don’t want to tick her off. She might go on hiatus and never return, thinking what’s the point. I flipped on my MacBook and wrote for half an hour before lights out. I laid my head on the pillow, closed my eyes, and skipped into dreamland. At that moment, it was worth it. Until morning, I wasn’t feeling so confident that I made the right call to stay up as I ignored the alarm and fell effortlessly back into slumberland. I barely closed my eyes when I cracked opened an eyelid expecting my nightstand clock to read 5:09 or something. Then I could sleep for another minute. I did not expect 6:00 on the clock display. “I overslept!” I kicked off my covers and spilled out of bed. I’m up! I’m up!

I have an ambitious routine to adhere to as it was already. IF I had risen on schedule, I would’ve had just enough time to get my morning agenda done before getting serious with my writing projects at 8 o’clock. Since I lost an hour of productivity, I needed to cut corners. The most obvious task to skip was, making my bed, which I meticulously do every morning. It’s the OCD in me. No, I’m not saying that I’m OCD. Well, maybe, just a little? 

I left my unmade bed, headed to the bathroom and closet, and got myself ready. Cutting corners there, but I’ll spare you the trivial details. The whole time I readied myself, I couldn’t let the unmade bed rest. They weren’t kidding that old habits are so hard to break. I kept brushing the bed thought out of my mind as I mentally planned my day to no avail. Here I go again, that ding dong “unmade bed” pushed its way to the forefront of my mind, flicking away the relevant thoughts I needed to focus on, but what was I thinking about? Okay, fine, I give up. Let’s talk about the bed.

Enough, already! What is it about the bed? I mulled over the unmade bed, with that nagging feeling like I had forgotten something. But, what? It was useless trying to figure it out. Today was the first time I ever skipped making the bed, or maybe this was the second time. When was the first? Since Mark passed, I’m sure I must have missed a day. Maybe during the PTSD period? It’s possible. I don’t know. Oh! I remember now! I was a freshman in college, living at home. And I overslept. Back in the day, I was never late. I was on time or early but never late. Those were the days. Today? Not so much—I try. Let’s leave it at that. That morning, I flew out of the house without making my bed. 

It was a long day. Classes from eight o’clock to eleven. Streetcar commute to Harcourt Brace Jovanovich for work noon to five o’clock. That evening when I got home, I learned that Grandma, from on my mother’s side, came to visit. What! Grandma came to visit? She never comes to visit. I immediately snapped my head towards my bedroom, and there was my gigantic unmade bed protruding from the semi-opened doorway! I know I closed that door before I left the house. The unmade bed swelled in my face, squeezing the sweat of embarrassment from within me. I could not believe that the one day in my whole life that I didn’t make my bed was the one day Grandma came to visit. I will never live down the humiliation. My bruised ego hung low as I imagined the snickering all over town with fingers pointing at me. I tell you, some of us are such drama queens. 

Although Grandma never said a word. Nobody ever said a word, but I carried that shame all my life. Why? I know it’s no big deal. Nobody cares. Nobody remembers—except me. Today’s incident proved that it continued to be a thorn in my side. Lucky for me, nobody came over yesterday when my bed was unmade. Now you know why I’m meticulous about making my bed every day. You never know, just like long ago on the one day.

A Moment in My Life – Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

I’ve been to many business meetings lately where I noticed the same scene played out over and over again. This last meeting I attended was no different, but in my little pea brain, I honestly thought this time it would be different and end well with the opposing sides uniting in harmony. I was vastly disappointed. With all the horror and violence in today’s world where people are attacking and harming anybody and everybody they can, the last place I expect disharmony is in my small world. 

We came together on a common bond. Sure. We may not see eye to eye. There will always be discord and disagreement, but it’s okay because that’s how we grow, learn, improve, and get to know one another better. We may not get our way, but we must speak up and voice our concerns, wants, and needs. Sharing different views may be the solution we’ve been looking for to a better way, a better future. But nobody can read another’s mind. Come to think of it. I don’t always know what’s going on in my mind. How can I know yours? That’s when communication is a must. God never intended us to be alone but with others and work together. Working together means putting the puzzle pieces on the table, and together we rearrange them to complete the picture—the common goal. The more hands on deck, the faster we can achieve the goal. Some puzzle boards are more convoluted and complex. Those boards require contemplation, and brainstorming makes all the difference whether we complete the board or not. However, not if we’re going to fight over where the pieces go, nick pick the suggestions made or oppose progress every step. 

We must speak up. There is no doubt about that. Nobody would know what you think unless you speak up, but how you do it is the point here. During these meetings, there were two groups, a larger main group and a smaller subgroup. The meetings start cordial, presenting the agenda items one by one. Then, the heat intensified as the unresolved agenda items surfaced. There is no doubt that everybody cares and wants to make things better. One side presented a motion that would allow us to move forward, while the other side opposed and countered with another motion. As the members debated the pros and cons for each motion, it never fails the agitated voices would fill the room. It’s human nature to raise a voice when we feel we’re not getting what we want. 

As children, we yelled, cried, stomped our feet, and threatened mayhem if we didn’t get our way. (Disclaimer: this is generally speaking. I’m not saying I did this. My folks would’ve disowned me had I acted out this way.) We carry those scars within us, and they appear in a flash when we feel threatened. At these meetings, repeatedly, I observed these scars come out in members of one team lashing out in words that I won’t repeat here, but their words translated in my mind to “oneness,” “unity,” and “inclusion.” They felt the ramifications of being the smaller subgroup to the main group when it should be “one” group.

I agree with being one group that houses harmony and unity and every good thing that goes with it. I’m afraid I have to disagree with the raised voices and accusations and the negativity that divides people. As a fly on the wall watching the room, the 1977 commercial kept playing in my head with its timeless jingle, “You can try hard, or you can try soft. Soft will get ’em every time.” Exactly, that’s the angle this little subgroup needs, soft! 

Instead of raising your voices and being combative, why not live your words? You want to be included as “one,” right? So, why not be one, like the old saying goes, “fake it ’til you make it.” Since everybody is invited and welcome to participate in all events, why don’t you participate? Why not incorporate yourselves into the main group? Join them in their plans where they are. Serve with them with the talents that only you can offer. Be a friend. Get to know the other members of the bigger group. Instead of rebelling, why not put your feet into their shoes and see out of their eyes? Share your views softly. If you still disagree, discuss your reasons, and help them see out of your eyes. Have conversations to bridge the differences to reach common ground. Work together towards a feasible compromise so that both sides can sincerely be “one” group. Remember: dial down the summer heat. Keep the temperature at a comfortable spring.

We can’t understand each other if we stay in our corners. We have to blend to see the other’s view, but it is doable. The way I see it, by taking the first step to work together, we give ourselves a fighting chance of achieving the “one” group goal by getting to know the other members and allowing them to know us. 

Next thing you know, they’ll welcome you and want you to be a part of their group. Before you know it, you are “one” harmonious group working towards a brighter future together. I believe we can change our approach and attitude to work together, not against one another. Keep in mind that if the old method doesn’t work, step back, take a breath and consider another way.  

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

The other day, a funny thing made me realize I can’t assume everybody understands where I’m coming from. I don’t always get the joke or catch the punchline myself or even get what was said, but well, how do I know what you know until things play out?

That’s what happened to me the other day precisely. On FB, a new friend I’ll call George posted a photo of a scene from the old Chinese martial arts movie, “Five Shaolin Masters,” and that got my attention. I was a huge Chinese martial arts movie buff when I was a kid, and, of course, I saw this movie. One of the stars in it, David Chiang, was my first big celebrity crush. My radar zoomed-in any time there was a movie starring David or a magazine with his photo in it. I plastered my bedroom walls with his posters. I was obsessed with him. I dreamed of meeting him one day soon. When I grew up, I was going to marry him despite the fact he had some years on me. Yeah, I know, it was silly, but that’s what kids do. Alas, I never did meet him. Eventually, I grew up, got busied with life, and forgot him. Sorry, David!

It’s been decades since I heard or saw anything about David Chiang, so seeing the photo of him on George’s post lured me in. George posted a caption over the picture, “Our lunch bunch aka – Five Shaolin Masters.” Since George is a new friend, I don’t know anything about him yet. This caption mystified me, so I went with my preconceived notions: to play along for fun and nothing more. I commented on his post, “💜David Chiang💜 What time is lunch?” I assumed my comment was safe because David wouldn’t make an appearance.

I never expected George to reply with the time and place of their lunch date, and he invited me to join. Whoa! Totally new concept. My eyes opened, and I got it. George posted about his lunch bunch, nicknamed Five Shaolin Masters, and borrowed the photo from the movie fame. He posted about his gang going to lunch together, but he didn’t say so in as many words. He left a lot to our imaginations, and I’ve got a great imagination.   

Since I walked into this scene, I figured I’d keep playing along, so I replied, “Is David Chiang going to be there? I’ll come if he comes.” I giggled.

I did not expect George to reply, “Yes, he said he would drop by.” Whoa! 

I snickered, knowing that David wasn’t going to make an appearance, and I said, “You are hilarious! Nice try!”

George has a sense of humor. I’ll give him that. “You willing to take the chance and miss out?”

“True. Okay, call me when he arrives, k?” I laughed over here as I wrote that.

Did I say George has a sense of humor? He concluded this chat by sending a recent photo of David Chiang as his proof that David showed up. LOL. Touché.

I’ve always been very easygoing and joke around every chance I get. Why? Just to spread smiles and add some laughter to the scene, you know? Harmless stuff. Well, at least that was my preconceived notion. However, from this experience, I learned I need to exercise some caution before I joke with just anybody, especially if we haven’t built a rapport yet. Some of my new FB friends are very social and friendly people who are totally into meeting up and doing things together. That’s fine and dandy. There is a time and place for everything, which doesn’t mean this is the time or the place. I was joking around, not realizing our expectations didn’t align. Anyhoo, from this experience, I learned never to assume.

A Moment in My Life – Monday, March 21, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

One of Daddy’s reel-to-reel tapes captivated me when I was a little girl. It was the only recording he had with both Chinese language and English songs, primarily Chinese songs with a handful of English oldies but goodies that I love. I played that tape to death. There was no easy way to fast forward or rewind, but I repeated my favorite English songs and memorized all the words. They remain dear to me to this day. Each piece invokes memories, feelings, and emotions that transports me to that little girl sitting in front of the reel-to-reel tape deck with my fists resting under my chin, singing my heart out.

One song popped into my music queue today, and the feelings and emotions I felt as a kid were candescent as if brand new. The old events that triggered them dim from my mind. Yet, it’s funny I remember how I felt—how the song made me feel. 

As soon as the piano and drums introduce the ever-familiar intro, nostalgia overwhelmed me as Paul Anka belts out, “Put your head on my shoulder.” The little girl in me steps forward onto the dance floor, all grown up in her make-believe world, in a deep purple sweetheart swing vintage dress with black kitty heels on my feet. I place my hand into his. In his dashing tuxedo, my prince twirls me into his arms as I fall into step. A whiff of his aftershave lingers in motion, and I tingle in delight. He draws me close to his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck, and we sway to the music, gazing into each other’s eyes. The dim lights cast a romantic hue on the wooden dance floor.

He holds me in a tender embrace. My heart raced in response. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck to keep from crumbling to the floor. He plants a kiss on my forehead. I lean in and whisper into his ear words only he could hear. He smiles and gently leans my head on his shoulder where I transcend to a safe and secure place where the world disappears, and it was just him and me and our song. 

We danced, lost in the music. He twirls me around, and as he pulls me back in, he brushes his soft lips against my cheek. I giggle at the touch of his five o’clock shadow. The warmth of his minty breath turns my legs to jelly. If only this moment could last forever, but all good things must come to an end. With that, he ever-so-tenderly lifts my chin, and a shiver ripple through me when his lips touch mine as the song refrains, “Put your head on my shoulder.”

A Moment in My Life – Monday, March 7, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

So, is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I’m not constantly thinking about it, but this topic came up a few times in conversation last week, and that’s how I ended up thinking about it. The question is quite subjective. If you ask different people, you will get a different answer. That’s fine. Everybody is entitled to a view. After all, there is no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on what’s in your heart.

The conversation began with my friend, and I’ll call him Chad, stating that he’d rather be alone than invest time into new friendships. Although his reasons were valid, his comment stumped me. I can’t imagine life alone. I value my alone time, but I got to have my “people” time. He lost many close friends in recent years. I get it—so have I. We’re all getting older, and our circle of friends is thinning. That’s the sad part of life, but it is what it is.

 Being the fixer, I felt I needed to help him see the other side. Before you say anything, in hindsight, I know it wasn’t my place, but at the time of the conversation, I honestly felt I needed to help him see the positive side of having friends. Only because I care and don’t want him to regret his decision years down the line when it might be too late—this life is it, and it’s not a dress rehearsal. Our choices will have a significant impact on our future. 

It takes time to develop those deep and meaningful relationships that become friendships. That’s why I was so determined to have that long discussion with Chad. We went around and around, volleying our views back and forth when I realized there was no changing his mind, and I did my job. Yeah, if it’s all the same to you, having done my job was a more positive spin than to claim my defeat.

While that conversation was still raw in my mind, a BFF announced that she is looking to downsize and will be moving, possibly, away from the bay area this year. It all depends on where she’ll find her new home. I was so not prepared for this news. We’ve lived close to each other for most of our lives. We went to the same schools were at each other’s wedding. We doubled-dated. We hung out all the time. We watched each other’s houses while the other traveled. We were there for each other all of our adult lives. I can’t imagine her not being nearby. This news dampened my mood for days as I processed my looming loss. Maybe God intended the earlier conversation to help soften the blow of this one? I don’t know. It still sent me spiraling into the dark pit for a while.  

And that is how today’s column came to be. Like Chad, I’ve lost four people very close to me within three years. As devastating as those losses were, is it better not to make friends so as not to lose them? In light of my BFF’s relocation plans, Chad’s words replay in my head as I mourn the change that’s coming. No matter how I play his words over, I still can’t entirely agree with him. For me, I rather have what little time I get with people dear to me than never to have had them in my life. 

Each person brings value and unique experiences that brighten my world, making me a more affluent person closer to the woman God created me to be. Without these people, I wouldn’t have developed those parts they influenced. With these people, regardless of where they go, they leave their mark and memories for me to cherish forever. If we were lucky enough to have a photo taken together, I’d have that to hold dear, as well. Thanks to this self-pep talk that I needed so badly, I no longer feel sad that my BFF is moving away since we made so many beautiful memories together in the bay area. I rejoice with her for what she wants. It’s true. It won’t be as convenient to get together after she relocates, but we will continue to hang out every chance we get. If there is a will, there is a way, and we will make it work. Distance does not diminish friendship.

I firmly believe that you can never have too many friends. Sure, there are different kinds of friends, and not every friend will become a BFF, but each friend will add a flavor to the bouquet of my life. For that reason, I think ’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Jeannie Yee Davis

Do you know that I don’t see or talk to people all day long? It’s not that I don’t want to, but everybody has a busy life trying their best to make it through the day. I have to admit, though, that keeping such a busy schedule and working secluded at home sometimes feels insanely lonely. That’s when it’s easy to forget about all the people in your life. Going by the old saying, “out of sight and out of mind.” However, if you have as many people in your life as I do, who wouldn’t let you forget how much they love and care about you, then it’s irrelevant your disposition.

Do you know when the truth comes out? It usually comes out on special days like our birthdays. Thanks to all the beautiful people God blessed me with, I don’t have to be alone those days. Why? Because so many of you flooded us with your love. Regardless of how busy you were or what you had on your schedule, you made time to send your love our way. This 2/26 was Mark’s fourth birthday since he relocated to heaven, yet so many of you continued to write Happy Birthday wishes on his FB wall and to tap and add your greetings on my posts. I received messages, phone calls, and even gifts, reminding me of the love so many of you have for us. 

Did you know that since Mark and I met, we have never spent a birthday, anniversary, or holiday apart from each other? I dreaded his birthday in 2019 because it was the first birthday we didn’t spend together. Once a couple and now a single, the playing field dramatically changes on special occasions. I felt the aloneness and sadness, but all of you came through for us in remembering him with me. I didn’t know it at the time, but when you overwhelmed me with your love, that was what I needed precisely to make it through that day. 

Do you know what makes you a blessing to me? Your loving hearts and your kindness. The definition of kindness is warm-hearted, considerate, humane, and sympathetic. And you are all these characteristics along with your loving hearts when you give of yourselves to think of me when I needed that little affection that I no longer have with Mark. Yet, I don’t want to let go. It’s not his fault that he can no longer celebrate his birthday with me, but I will continue to honor his memory on his birthday. Thus, it means the world to me that you continue to celebrate him with me. You probably don’t realize how much what you do means to us, and that’s why I am telling you now, thank you for your love and kindness. You may think your kindness was nothing but a little kindness goes a long way.