A Moment in My Life – Thursday, January 21, 2021
Yesterday was my old friend’s birthday. I’ll call her Gretchen. She always seemed like a Gretchen to me. I seesawed before I caved and sent her a “Happy Birthday” text. After I hit send, I kept checking my messages for signs of where I stand with her. It was good that I did because I noticed my text went to her email address, not her cell number. Why did it go to email? Would she get my text? Did she change her number? Did she block me? Do you get an alert if you were blocked? Once I realized this, I resent the greeting to her cell.
An hour later, I got a response back from her, “Thank you, Jeannie!” Wow! She wrote back! She addressed me by name! She added an exclamation mark! My heart raced, and my body wanted to do a happy dance. I refrained from doing a happy dance. I didn’t know what to make of this. A part of me was dancing while the other part was telling me, “Hold on, don’t get ahead of yourself here.” Those are words of wisdom that I need to adhere to. The last thing I wanted to do was to get myself into hot water again.
Gretchen and I have been friends since junior high, but I knew her since grammar school. We became tight and formed a circle with a few others in high school. We both got along super well. It was rare having someone who was like me. She and I were both an open book. Transparency is good to a degree. I learned in my age of wisdom; there is a time to speak and a time to stay quiet. Looking back, I wish I exercised that in this relationship.
I thought we would be friends until we were little old women, but that plan ended prematurely. Like in any relationship, we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. Over the years, we fought like an old married couple. I called divorce a few times, but we always made up. We were bound to reach the breaking point one day, which happened a week after my last heart attack. She had enough and dumped me. For most people, any tiffs would have been forgiven after a life-or-death incident, but not with Gretchen.
It hurt—both the rejection and loss of a long-time friend. I have to admit that I was contemplating dumping her, but she beat me to it. It was bittersweet. I didn’t want to break up, but we were toxic for each other. I wanted us to agree to disagree, but she wasn’t in a place ready to do so. I prayed that she would come around, but we needed a lot of space between us in the meantime.
As necessary as this breakup was, I am hopeful that one day we can reunite with a fresh start and become friends again. Fast forward a few months, I sent a group text greeting, but Gretchen left the chat. She wasn’t ready. At that point, she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me. I admit not having her in my life has been peaceful. I don’t miss the bickering, but I miss my friend and the good times we shared. I am wiser now and will exercise every opportunity to be a better friend if we get a chance to reunite.
Deep down, I’m hopeful that she will come around and want to be friends again. That’s why I suddenly caved and sent her the “Happy Birthday” text—hoping maybe just maybe. To my surprise, she responded! What does this mean? I don’t know—only time knows the answer to the question—can we be friends again?
