Author: jdavis

A Moment in My Life – Monday, November 30, 2020

Happy Monday after Thanksgiving weekend! On Friday morning, I was going to write this column. Unexpectedly, I had to make a trip out first thing in the morning. I contemplated how to incorporate that trip into my work time when I suddenly remembered that I always took the Friday after Thanksgiving off when I was in the corporate world. That was a no-brainer then, so I continued my ritual to take Black Friday off. Good call. I was wasted from juggling my daily column writing and noveling along with everything else that I needed to do in my real life. Friday turned out to be a much-needed day off.

I hope every single one of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, however you spent it. I spent mine alone, probably like many people who were following the pandemic protocols. I hope you were as blessed as I was to have a good friend host a curbside meal pickup for Thanksgiving dinner. My BFF Iggy and her hubby Kev hosts a Thanksgiving dinner every year for those who don’t have family nearby. This year was no different, except they rose to the times with their curbside pickup. 

This dinner, mind you, lacked nothing at all. It was a feast fit for royalty. They covered the essential traditional dishes of turkey, steak, gravy, sweet and mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, cornbread, and pumpkin spice bread. Adding their East Meets West flare with yummy sticky rice, fried shrimp dumpling, and chili pepper chicken wings. They completed the meal with apple pie and a chocolate crinkle cookie. They forgot to include the stuffing, but with that feast, it wasn’t missed. I felt like Christmas came early. This feast was way better than the simple turkey loaf that I was planning to make for my T-Day dinner. 

I compared T-Day plans with a few friends, and I hear similar stories where they had prepared for a quiet dinner at home only to change their plans the day before. One friend ended up freezing their intended meal to accept the invitation to spend the holiday with nearby family. Another friend accepted their family’s invitation by bringing their dinner with them making it a potluck. 

Other friends of mine ended up having an intimate dinner with their immediate family. I think that’s so special to do because your kids will move out and have lives of their own one day. This moment is an opportunity to enjoy your family as it is while you can. Next year, I expect life to resume with typical holiday celebrations where we group up with family and friends to celebrate together. For now, I am grateful to these people for doing their part to keep everybody safe.

The news said that many people wanted to celebrate with loved ones so badly that they crossed the protocol guidelines risking everyone’s safety. I can’t blame them, but I don’t condone their choices. Who knows? You never know if this might be the last holiday you spend with certain people, so I get it. We all have to make that right choice for ourselves and live with it. The bottom line is that we survived Thanksgiving in this pandemic the best we could, considering that this was a different Thanksgiving.

A Moment in My Life – Wednesday, November 25, 2020

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself taking stock of all that I am thankful for. I give thanks every day, but Thanksgiving is like Christmas except that instead of checking off things we want from our Santa list, we check off things we are thankful for from our blessings list, which I don’t mind participating in doing. The first thing I am thankful for is that my blessings list is way longer than my Santa list. Do I hear an Amen?

There are so many things I am thankful for. Every morning I wake up, open my eyes to living another day is an excellent place to start. Many of you know I love sunrise. I am thankful for a camera that I could capture the gorgeous sunrises to share with others via social media. While we are talking about social media, I am thankful for the variety of ways to stay connected, especially during this strange year of living in quarantine.

I am thankful for the good that came from the bad. The bad being the Coronavirus that forced us into Shelter in Place. The good that came from this was that it paved my path to begin my writing career. God knows I needed all the help I could get to apply the chair glue to concentrate on writing. He knows I’m a wimp when it comes to saying no to a friend’s invitation to hang out. Shelter in Place eradicated all my excuses, and my writing life began. 

I am thankful for daily greetings with my sisters to begin and end each day. I am thankful for all the people God has blessed me with who continue to fill my days with their virtual presence. I am incredibly thankful for the relationships which blossomed this year. 

I am thankful for answered prayers, such as the hedge of protection placed around me and everybody I know keeping us safe from the Coronavirus. I am thankful for the healing, restorations, and peace in my circles. I am thankful for the beginnings of our new church and the unity of the church family.

I am thankful for good health, a hot cup of coffee, a nice ripe but firm banana, food on the table, money to pay the bills, and plenty of toilet paper. I am thankful for the feel-good movies on Hallmark. I am thankful for a well-written TV show. I am thankful for Zoom, FaceTime, the phone, and social media so that we are not alone. 

I am thankful for life and living. I am thankful for each of you who has added value to my life because of your uniqueness that helps me be a better person. I am thankful for God’s reassurances, love, mercy, and forgiveness. I am thankful for so much more because, at every moment, there is something to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Stay safe!

A Moment in My Life – Monday, November 23, 2020

My dear friend Steve and I began today reminiscing down memory lane. He took a leap of faith into the unknown when he left the bay area for Phoenix, which turned out a good move for him. We agreed that at times we both have wondered “what if” we had done things differently. What if he had stayed in San Francisco? 

Although I never considered moving away, he made me wonder what if I did? Before I left Schwab, I was given a relocation offer to Denver. My immediate answer was, “No, thank you.” On the other hand, my husband was like Steve, and he was ready to pack it up and move. My response to him was, “I hope you have a good life there,” because I surely wasn’t going anywhere. I am proud of Steve for being brave and having moved, and I’m thrilled that everything worked out so well for him. For me, I am grateful that we did not move to Denver. Had we moved, I’d be there all alone 1,300 miles away from my circle of support at the end of Mark’s life. Not a good thought. Thinking back, neither Steve nor I have any regrets about the choices we made.   

Our chat reminded me of all the friends I know who have moved away. Within the last five years, it seemed like almost everybody I knew was moving away. I am a creature of habit and don’t like change, but it happens. It has happened. Many of my friends have moved farther out in California, and many moved out of state. It hasn’t been so bad, though, with Facebook and social media keeping us connected. I still miss having them nearby so we could break bread and visit together. We can’t spontaneously hang out anymore, but we can chat all we want via social media.

A while ago, a very dear girlfriend sprung her plans to take early retirement in a tropical paradise on some island in Hawaii. I love her, and I love Hawaii. I can’t blame her. That was the one time I, myself, was this close to moving there after just one visit. Mark and I spent that whole flight home debating the pros and cons of moving to Hawaii. Alas, when the plane landed at SFO, reality bit us hard. No more azure sunlit skies. Only a familiar cold overcast welcomed us home, reminding us this is where we belong, and we went back to routine.

You would think I’d be happy for her, but truth be told, instead of joy, I felt panicked. Panic for selfish reasons. The simple fear of losing her companionship. I already started missing her and missing hanging out with her like we so often do. I will be happy for her because that’s what she wants to do. Disregarding my feelings, I support her decision, but selfishly, I don’t want her to move away. 

Looking at the bright side, after she moves to Hawaii, I won’t have my BFF in my day-to-day life anymore, but I will have a guaranteed vacation spot. I will get to reunite with two of my loves—Hawaii and my BFF, not in any particular order. This is how I console myself, and it puts a smile on my face, but inside, my heart still feels the loss of another social connection. After Steve and I had our little chat this morning, he reminded me that it doesn’t matter how many miles come between us. We will be there for each other because we are friends, always!

A Moment in My Life – Friday, November 20, 2020

I can’t wait until this is over! First chance I get, I’m moving out of this town away from all this. I will be free to be me, do what I want to do, and broaden my horizons. It’s Monday! I can’t wait until Friday, and then I can begin to live my life doing what I want to do. We’ve all been through a similar scenario like these. I’ve been guilty of this because I’m always in a hurry to get things over with so I could move on to other things, but when I get to the next thing, it’s the same old same old where I am looking ahead to something else. Maybe that’s the mentality of a multi-tasker with too much on her plate. I don’t know. I’ve been too busy to notice.

I remember eons ago, when my friend, Julia, enthusiastically told me about her vacation. She enlivened each moment while I vicariously vacationed with her. She said, “I didn’t want it to end!” She savored each minute she was there. Up until then, I had never heard anyone talk like that. Even with vacation, I was in a hurry racing from place to place, event to event, and tour to tour. I planned to make the most of our vacations. When I wasn’t out enjoying the locale, I was planning and plotting the next day’s itinerary in our hotel room. Savoring the moment was never on the list. Her words resonated in my mind ever since. 

Julia’s words, “I didn’t want it to end!” encourages me not to miss the journey that I am on. I try to be present and savor each moment of my day rather than hurry to move on. She’s right. As I think back, there are many moments that I didn’t want to end. I certainly wish my life with Mark didn’t end. The exquisite sunrises and sunsets captured from other parts of the world on our vacations cause me to wish I was still there. If I knew then that it won’t always be like this, I would have spent more time there.

Time spent with friends and family over a meal or coffee, on a walk, taking in a movie, shopping, or sitting around lounging together are memories of yesterday. I loved those memories. I long for those moments again. I sure will savor them when I do. I know it won’t always be like this.

 Better late than never to learn the importance of slowing down and stopping to smell the roses. That goes for the mundane or routine tasks, too. Even the day job that we may have dreaded, but we may not have it forever for whatever reason. Throughout my career, I’ve heard many people dread the workday and lived for the weekend. I, too, have occasionally felt that way. As I grow older, I realize that I can be me and do what I want without waiting for the weekend. If I live in the moment and enjoy my journey, that means I should do everything I want to do each day, not only on the weekends. Living in the moment means just that—do and live each day. Take every opportunity, and just do it! It won’t always be like this.

The good news is that the same goes for the bad times like right now with Covid-19 or some crisis or challenge you might be facing. It won’t always be like this. Hang in there! You can do this because God won’t put us through more than we can handle. Just persevere, have faith, and do everything you can. Seek help for what you can’t. There’s light at the end of the tunnel because it won’t always be like this.

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, November 19, 2020

Do you ever do the same thing over and over again and think that maybe this time the outcome would be different? Don’t laugh. I am serious here. Usually, I am one of those people laughing and thinking how silly that is, but the truth be told, it happens. I know this because I’ve been doing it! It’s insane, but yet, this is me. I’m not proud of it. It’s embarrassing and frustrating after realizing, “Oops, I did it again,” but it was too late by that time—the damage was done.

One morning when I was vacationing with my friend, Noreen, she microwaved Trader Joe’s oatmeal for breakfast. It was so simple and delicious. I came home and went to Trader Joe’s and bought a canister of multigrain oatmeal, and I couldn’t wait to make it myself. I followed the instructions on the label. I filled a microwave-safe bowl with 1 cup water, added ½ cup of the oatmeal, placed a cling wrap over the bowl, leaving an opening for steam, and then placed the bowl in the microwave. The instructions said to cook on High for 2-4 minutes. I set the time for 2 minutes first. Good thing I did that. When I opened the microwave door, I found my oatmeal bubbled over the sides onto the microwave tray. What a mess! I didn’t get much oatmeal that time. Instead, I got a good workout scrubbing the sticky, gooey exterior and interior of that bowl. Since I started experimenting with microwave oatmeal, my microwave tray has never been cleaner. I seriously don’t get it. I checked with Noreen, but hers has never bubbled over.

The next day, I repeated all the steps as the previous day, but this time I used a glass cappuccino mug so I could see inside, and I set the time for only 90-seconds instead of 2 minutes. When the timer pinged, I winced as I gingerly opened the microwave door expecting another bubbly mess, but was pleasantly surprised that the oatmeal was intact inside the cup. Phew, no mess! It didn’t look creamy the way I like it, though. There was no excess liquid in it, but I took a chance that I could get it creamier if I gave it another 30-seconds, so I did. Yep, that would do it. I’m sure of it, I thought. Then, 30-second later, I swung open the microwave door expecting it to be a perfect consistency. Instead, “Oops, I blew it up again!” Ugh. It was only 30-seconds! I removed the tray to the counter and swooped up as much of the oatmeal back into the cup as I could since the tray is super-duper clean. I wiped down the sides of the mug and cleaned the tray again before enjoying my cup of oatmeal.

After many more attempts, I finally figured it out. With my microwave, 90-seconds is the safest time for a cup of oatmeal. The secret is to let it sit for a minute afterward, and that softens and combines the oatmeal closer to the creamy consistency that I like. Success! I was thrilled that I got to enjoy a nice cup of hot oatmeal without the cleanup. 

I was patting myself on the back and doing my happy dance after months of testing this—success at last, but it was short-lived. The lesson that I learned here was that I shouldn’t get too comfortable and let my guard down. Making oatmeal keeps me, literally, on my tiptoes, so I could look into the microwave as it cooks. Keeping an eye on it is the only way I could stop the cooking before it bubbles over. I learned this when it bubbled up and made another mess after I thought I got it down. You could imagine my surprise when I opened the microwave door to find, “Oops, I blew it up again!”

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, November 17, 2020

It was such a lovely day yesterday that I decided to take my little Veloster out for her monthly exercise, i.e., a good battery charge. I never had to think about this need since VPea got enough exercise keeping her little electric heart pumping strong when I drove to church and back. I know I’m not alone in Shelter-in-place because this is a common concern for most of us. After my one-year-old battery unexpectedly died on me last month, I learned I needed to ensure that I gave my car a good charge once a month. I thought I was keeping the battery charged by merely driving her out on my errand runs once a week, but that wasn’t enough. After I got my new battery, I drove VPea on errands for a total of twenty minutes, thinking I was doing good. However, my friend Wizard checked in on me yesterday, asking if I had taken VPea out for a 20-minute non-stop drive on the freeway. He was specific. We bantered back and forth and concluded with me understanding that each time I stop within that twenty-minute drive meant when I turned on the ignition again, I needed to restart the clock for twenty minutes. Ugh. Really? No carrying over the minutes? Nope.

Alrighty then, that locked it down for me. I was craving sashimi, so I headed out towards the freeway, noting my start time. I sure didn’t want to do all this only to discover I was short a few minutes and need to return to GO without collecting $200. I planned my route to Mollie Stone’s at Bayhill for my sashimi. I started from South San Francisco by way of 101N, looping onto 92W and circling around north on 280 to arrive at Bayhill, San Bruno, in time for the sushi maker to provide an excellent selection to choose from. 

It was a perfect day for this trek. I selected my body and soul playlist. I put on my sunscreen and donned my shades, and off we went. The sunshine nudged me along with the promise of cloudless skies, settling a smile on my face. The winds were light, barely a breeze the way I like it. It warmed to about 66 degrees. Neither too warm nor too cold. Perfect cruising weather. Traffic was smooth, but I noticed that I was a little more cautious than I used to be. I paid more attention to the cars alongside me, fearing they might make a sudden lane change or something. Although, it’s better to be overcautious than under cautious. 

I haven’t been out this way in a while. I noted some businesses went up while I was hibernating. When did Tesla pop up everywhere? It makes sense for them to launch more locations since they will be the vehicle of the future.

Speaking of new, where did this body groove thing come from? As ‘Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe” came on, my body started grooving to the steady rhythm. When “Piano in the Dark” played, that was it; my shoulders began rolling, then my body joined in, and my arms were flying in the air, and I was out of control. What has Shelter in Place done to the conservative me?

As I approached my church’s freeway offramp, I glanced at my clock on the dash. I did the math, and I had been driving for 43 minutes. Today, I was driving slow like Mark, and his way would get us to church in give or take 20 minutes. Had I been driving the way I used to drive, I would arrive at church in 45 minutes. That tells me when Covid-19 is over, I must make sure I drive slower like Mark to kill two birds with one stone, get me to church, and give VPea a good charge.

Mm, I inhaled the fresh, clean scent of eucalyptus along the freeway and felt refreshed. I miss the good ole days when Mark would drive, and I took photos. Such wonderful memories. 

I was home free passing the twenty-minute mark by the time I go to Bunker Hill on 280N. Mission accomplished. Before I knew it, I arrived at Bayhill Shopping Center. Being there reminded me that I needed to get out more. I turned left onto a lane where a woman in the black GMC sitting at the stop sign honked me. What did I do? Once I safely finished my turn and passed her, I noticed how tight the lane felt. After I parked, I surveyed that lane and learned why she honked me. It is now a one-way lane! Oops. Lucky for me, I didn’t create an accident! 

It was great to get out today. It wasn’t a long drive, but it was an enjoyable one. So nice seeing the old familiar scenes, remembering happy memories and learning new things such as what has changed in my backyard and even discovering that I am no longer the same person I was the last time I drove out this way. I think I will enjoy taking VPea out for her monthly charge, and I will continue to take the long way around.

A Moment in My Life – Monday, November 16, 2020

I was surprised to see a car parked in front of my house on Saturday because 99% of the time, nobody parks in front of my house. It’s an unspoken rule that nobody parks in front of my house. Just kidding. Seriously, though, nobody parks in front of our house unless they were desperate. I don’t know why, but that’s how it is. People tend not to park at the curve of a circle for some reason. My house is on that curve. When a car parks out front, I notice and become curious why they are parked there. When I looked out my front window, I was astounded at all the cars lining my street, indicating that a neighbor was having a party, and they didn’t invite me. The nerve! Just kidding again.

Since the Pandemic began, I haven’t seen that many cars on my street. On Father’s Day weekend, there were a few more cars than usual. What was this weekend, though, that prompt a gathering at my neighbor’s house? One of my Facebook friends said her neighbor was holding a wedding reception at their home. The guests at my neighbor’s house weren’t dressed up or bearing gifts adding to this gathering mystery.

It didn’t matter what the reason was for this get-together; I was stunned by it considering the Covid-19 numbers are rising, which called for the dialing back from the reopening of businesses. I thought people would be more vigilant and postpone these types of events for a while, but that’s just me. 

I get it that over seven months of hibernation, people being the social beings we are, are getting cabin fever, tired of being cooped up and isolated from human interactions in the flesh. They miss hanging out with people and unwinding at their favorite hangout spots. They want to travel and getaway. I miss doing things with my friends, too. I miss dining and chatting with my friends at a restaurant for hours on end. I miss movies with my BFFs. 

I miss all those everyday things that people do before the Pandemic, but I know we need to stay vigilant to beat this thing. Life goes on in the interim. People have babies, get married, attend funerals, and celebrate other events that happen while we are sheltered in place. For now, this is our reality. Although we are climbing the walls, want this virus to be over, miss living freely without PPE, and fear being near another human for too long, we will never kick the virus off this earth if we give in to our desires now. So, seeing people gather together for whatever reason concerns me, and I hope that they follow social distancing guidelines and enjoy themselves without adding to the problem. 

There was a news flash a moment ago that said, “As coronavirus cases hit new records, governors are bringing back severe lockdowns and restrictions before the holidays.” Ugh. We’re going the wrong way! This is what happens when we let our guard down. It will get worse if we don’t restrict our exposures willingly. We got to hang in there, be vigilant and disciplined a while longer—for as long as it takes. We can do this! That’s all I have to say. I know I’m preaching to the choir. I need some air. I’m going to take VPea for a spin on the freeway for 20 minutes to keep her battery charged and be out in the world, socially speaking.