Author: jdavis

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, April 20, 2021

“You can come out now; the coast is clear.” I’m sure we’ve all said or heard this saying at some point in our lifetime. These words echo in my head as the world around me reopens, and more and more people get vaccinated. Once I told some friends that I was getting vaccinated, my social calendar began filling up. I was surprised how comfortable people were to get back out there so soon. Call me a wimp if you like, but I’m not eager to jump back into the world yet. A scene from the movie “Jaws” keeps replaying in my mind that it’s too soon to go back into the water. That’s how I feel. I pushed off the invitations to the latter part of the month to buy me more time before I commit. Don’t get me wrong. I look forward to hanging out with my peeps, but patience will pay off. You know that saying, “Good things come to those who wait”? We’ve survived a year in the pandemic being hermits. We can do it a little longer. Let’s give the vaccine time to do its thing and give the virus a little longer to die out. That’s my thinking.

Sometimes I don’t get what I want, and I must go with the flow. Maybe without knowing it, that’s the nudge I need. My good friend celebrated her 60th birthday with a front lawn surprise celebration a couple of weeks ago. As much as I wasn’t crazy about a group gathering, I made an appearance in support. Everybody did a part to have a safe party, keeping with social distancing protocols. I’m glad I attended. I had a great time and enjoyed seeing everyone, even if only partially. One cool thing was checking out everybody’s mask choices. There should be a prize for the most creative or the craziest mask or something fun like that.

A week ago, I was honored that my niece, Sassy, who hasn’t taken a vacation since she started her new job two years ago and was about to lose vacay hours, chose to spend her time off with me. This trip made up for the May 2020 visit that didn’t happen. The fact that I got my second Pfizer shot on Easter Sunday and she got her J&J shot a couple of days later didn’t put me at ease. I was neither going to deny her visit nor was I going to jump for joy either. I love hanging out with her, and so I made the best of the situation. Of course, her job didn’t allow her a “no-work” vacation, which was a blessing in disguise. It let us spend some time together while keeping our distance during part of the day. It worked out well.

I laugh when I think that I wore my mask in the car with Sassy after sharing the house for a couple of days. I’m not wrong thinking that being in the confines of my car, I should mask up, but I realized how silly that was when she asked, “Do you always wear a mask while driving?” Good question. I don’t when I’m alone. Considering she’s as phobic as I am about avoiding Covid, we’re both as healthy as could be. Before this trip, we both worked remotely, got vaccinated, and we already shared the same house for a few days, which made me realize how paranoid or silly, I was being. 

We reserved the last morning for our photoshoot. It felt terrific standing side-by-side again. Although the pandemic made us guarded, which isn’t bad, it kept us from getting closer like pre-Covid. I’m sure we’ll relax in time as we regain our comfort levels. It’s good we are cautious. I’ll gingerly stick my toe into the water for a while. I’m not diving in even if you holler, “You can come out now; the coast is clear!”

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, April 8, 2021

The other day, a friend asked me about tiger moms, which took me back to my younger days when nothing was good enough for my mother. She set unobtainable standards for my sisters and me to follow but tried as we might; we never lived up to her expectations. How do you compete with the Jones when the grass was always a better shade of green in their yard? I believe I became super disciplined and a perfectionist because of my mother’s tight reign. And yes, it had to do with my unique makeup, but I credit my mother’s conditioning more. All I know is that my mother should be proud of herself for successfully tattooing her high standards in me that continue to haunt me long after she did her job.

I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt lately with the little JYD sitting on my shoulder, wagging her disappointed finger while making tsking sounds at me for not achieving everything that I set out to do last month. So, I didn’t write two new fiction stories a week. I wrote two the first week, and I wrote one a week after that. Doesn’t that count? “Well yeah, that counts,” she said, smirking. “But you wrote two a week only once.” Ugh. She’s right, yet with fiction, I honestly can’t force it. It has to come naturally. I have to be in my writer’s zone to make it work. That’s where the problem lies. I’m not sure what happened, but early in the month, I developed dermatitis for the first time. I thought it was a bite on my heel initially, but instead of clearing up, it worsened. Then my fingers became inflamed. Long story short, the more I tried to fix the problem, the worse it got. The more stressed out I became, the worse my symptoms got creating the domino effect. The doctor instructed me to reduce hand washing, which was hilarious since we’re still in the pandemic. 

My case was so bad that the most potent prescription creams failed. Ultimately, I needed a 10-day oral Prednisone treatment that helped, but it came with side effects. They warned me that it causes insomnia, which was cool not needing caffeine to stay awake. However, the uncool part was feeling like a stranger under my skin. I’ve been off Prednisone almost a week now and began feeling more like myself a couple of days ago, but the residues prevent me from feeling whole. Having gone through this, I sympathize with people suffering from unexplained mental symptoms. It’s not something physical that you could lock down, but it’s there. It’s like an empty void that doesn’t feel right, but you can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m in someone else’s home or like someone emptied my house, and I have no idea where they moved everything to. It makes me feel out of control and out of sorts with myself. 

The weirdest thing about this is that it impacted my ability to write. Having completed four short stories just weeks ago reassures me that I am capable of creating completed stories. I’ve got a fictional story brewing where I’ve been muddling around on the page for days feeling no urgency to finish, and that’s highly unlike me. I know it’s the Prednisone residue lingering, but I don’t know what to do about it except busy myself elsewhere until it passes. 

Since I’ve been conditioned to push myself always, there is no rest for the weary, but I am loosening up and allowing myself space to breathe while I regain my groove. Yet, you won’t see me sitting idle. Nothing justifies loafing in my world. I have to laugh because I’ve taken over my mom’s reign over me, so who needs a tiger mom? 

A Moment in My Life – Friday, March 12, 2021

Happy Friday, y’all! Did you miss me? Of course, you did! I was so gung-ho that I forgot to announce my hiatus from writing my column to give my fictional world a turn. As hard as I tried juggling writing my daily column with creative writing, there wasn’t enough time in my day to balance the two. A brief hiatus was a logical solution.

I’m happy to share that the break is serving me well. I completed a new short fiction, “Mr. Right Was on His Way,” and submitted that to a magazine. I completed the first draft of a new short fiction that I will finalize today. I know you can’t wait to read it. I’m excited, too, and look forward to sharing it with you.

Switching gears has been great for allowing my creative juices to squeeze through and fill my well. I’ve got two new short fiction story ideas brewing and awaiting fruition. I am eager to see where those ideas take me. 

I have many projects queuing on the drawing board. At the moment, I am riding shotgun and going where my muse is taking me. I don’t know how long I’ll be away from my column, ‘A Moment in My Life,’ but I will be back. At the least, I’ll be back to check in with y’all. I welcome your messages. Just reach out! In the meantime, be happy! Be safe! Be healthy! And, have a very Happy Friday!

A Moment in My Life – Friday, March 5, 2021

It’s exciting as a few of our counties move out of the purple and into the red tier and allow more businesses to reopen indoors that we all miss dearly—just in the nick of time. I heard on GMA3 that we’re in a second pandemic with more and more people suffering from Covid-19 and quarantine. Dr. Jen Ashton said everybody has suffered, and the pandemic has taken a toll on all of us. She said that all of us are subject to fatigue, anxiety, depression, PTSD from the second pandemic and that we all lost something, and some of us lost someone. All of which caused a ripple effect from the virus that trickle down to our mental health. Moving into the red tier is great news, but I think it’s too soon with the reopening to bring healing.

We didn’t get into this dilemma overnight, so we’re not going to jump out of our seats and go back to normal because we’re out of the purple tier. I think we should be leery and proceed cautiously. You know, we’ve been here before. Hopefully, we learned from experience not to drop our guards quickly. As much as we all want our lives back, it’s risky to flip the switch too rapidly. We’ve been sheltered in place coming up a year now, so what’s a little bit longer if that means keeping us from falling back into the purple tier? I think, if anything else, this yo-yo effect has been more damaging to our demeanor than the pandemic itself because it gives us false hope. It’s like parents telling kids what they want to hear, but when push comes to shove, the truth comes out, not what they want to hear. It creates trust issues. 

Aside from that, it’s good to venture back out into the world of the living, but hearing about some states dropping the mask requirement freaks me out. It’s too soon, people! Haven’t you seen the movie “Jaws” or “Jurassic Park”? It’s the red herring, people! It’s too soon! The fat lady hasn’t sung yet. We’re not out of the woods. However you want to look at it, the bottom line is, don’t drop your guard! Leave the mask on even if you’ve been vaccinated. This isn’t a game of chess. If you lose, you may not get to play the game again. Don’t drop your guard!

Since we spent months living in the effects of the virus, it’ll take time for us to heal and hopefully overcome some of the damage done. I’ve heard the loneliness, the emptiness, and the boredom people have felt throughout this year. Many suffer dearly from the lack of skin touching, and that alone is hard to overcome. I’m on the same boat as everyone. Hang in there just a little longer, people. There is light at the end of the long tunnel now. Don’t give up hope! 

In the meantime, there are ways to battle the effects of the pandemic. It’s not too late. There’s a lot we can’t do or change, but we can control ourselves and what happens in our homes. Just a shift of your mind can make all the difference. It starts with one simple decision: to want to make a positive difference in your life. I get up every day, and I get dressed—ready to go out even if I go nowhere. This immediately improves my demeanor. I fill my days to advance my life. I keep people close. I chat with as many peeps as I can. I stay in touch with folks on social media and keep up with current events. Ignorance, in current times, is not bliss. I use my quarantine time as hiatus from regular life to better myself. It’s the perfect time to practice good habits such as learning and improving my skills, working out, eating healthier meals, and destressing. It finally sunk in with me that if I don’t take care of myself first, I am of no use to anybody else, just like on the airplane. We put on our oxygen mask first. Then we can help someone else. Same thing here. We take care of ourselves now, and later, when we return to living in the outside world, we’ll be ready to do good.

Many of us lack people interaction of some kind, but there are people everywhere when we are out and about. We may not know any of them, but they are living and breathing bodies who need the same thing—human contact. In my effort to make a positive difference, I decided the next time I’m out running errands; I would look everyone in the eye every chance I get and “see them” and greet them with as much kindness and love I can muster. It doesn’t matter what they look like, who they are, what they do, or where they come from. I’m giving everyone the same kindness that I would like. It’s amazing how many friendly responses I got back, especially when we hear about all the uglies in the world. It was especially because of all the uglies and the hatred spiraling out of control around us that directed my decision to do what little part I can to make a positive difference around me. My efforts were received warmly, and it made my heart sing. 

I know all this doesn’t eradicate your sufferings, but hopefully, it would be a start in the right direction and put a smile on your face when you look in the mirror. Go ahead and pamper yourself with some kindness because you are worth it, and it’ll lift your spirits. It may not sound like much, but I’ve seen the positive difference kindness has made around me. We can’t change everybody, and we can’t change the world, but we can do our little part to better our surroundings. Simply being kind to ourselves and others can brighten up our days, so let’s live our life the best that we can and choose kindness but don’t drop our guard!

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, March 4, 2021

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have waited so long to make an appointment at Costco Optical. The last time I had an eye exam was in 2017, right before Cobra ended. My optometrist was expensive, even with my insurance coverage. These multifocal contacts with my high prescription were hard to come by and kept me returning to my optometrist. Initially, I figured I would order my contacts from Costco, but they didn’t carry my C-Vue multifocal disposable lenses. Eventually, 1-800-Contacts did until they didn’t. Good thing I ordered an extra year’s supply of contacts then. I stretched out my stash until I was down to the last contacts, and I had to take action begrudgingly. 

I don’t know why I think the way I do, but I do. For whatever reason, I feared going to a new optometrist. Maybe it was a simple fact that I don’t like change. I had the same optometrist for decades. I can’t say that she was the best since I had nobody else to compare to, but she was familiar. We became friends. Not good enough friends to continue a business relationship just because we were friends. I had some reservations, but while I had insurance, I continued to see her. You know how it is. When you become friends, it gets harder to leave even if you’re not getting the kind of service that you expect or would like. 

My biggest pet peeve was that I was constantly semi-blind. Her explanation was logical. I trusted she knew better than I and that she had my best interest at heart. The culprit was my high prescription. For years, I heard her say, “According to this, you are considered legally blind.” Interestingly, the legally blind range kept going upwards, which was good since my nearsightedness got worse each year. To correct my nearsightedness, I had to sacrifice reading up close. She decided to lessen my ability to see in the distance to increase my ability to read up close, making me always slightly blind. I couldn’t read the street signs or see faces yards away from me. I disliked twilight immensely because that’s the hardest time of day for me to see. Everything blended into each other. It was all a hue of opaque shapes. Then, to add salt to injury, I needed glasses on top of my contacts to clearly see the distance at night or when I wanted to see clearly. And, there’s more, I need reading glasses at times when my eyes got tired. When will my suffering end? All of this added to my fear of seeing a new optometrist.

I held off as long as I could. There was a deal in the Costco February coupon book for $40 off two pairs of frames. Perfect. I’d need a pair of frames at night when I remove my contacts and a pair for distance driving. That deal got me into the Costco Optical Department. Their exam revealed my vision hadn’t changed. Nice. They still don’t carry C-Vue, but this doctor wanted me to try a new contact, Bausch & Lomb multifocal, instead. As soon as I put those contacts on, it was like the curtains lifted, and someone opened up the aperture letting in all the light. Suddenly, everything was sharp and clear, even the blurry bottom line on the eye chart. I could see the people and things from across the warehouse, including reading the big signs on the walls that once I ignored because it was too exhausting to make out. It turned out that I no longer need the distance glasses foiling the $40 off two pairs of glasses deal. The doctor said, “You don’t need distance glasses. You can see perfectly fine now.” Wow! How did that happen? Technology? I don’t know, but I’m thrilled. 

After I left the Optical Department, I felt like a blind person seeing for the first time. I gawked at everything. I read every word on signs left and right. I saw faces coming towards me clearly. On the drive home, I read street names just to be reading them. I read billboards. I read gas prices effortlessly at the service stations. I was in awe of so much that I basically ignored all these years because everything was a shade of blurry. Not anymore.  I also can read up close just fine now.

I’ve been kicking myself since I got these new contacts. Why did I take so long to make that appointment at Costco Optical? I could’ve been enjoying seeing this wonderful world for years. No point beating myself up. I’ve suffered enough for decades. All that is behind me now. The important thing is that I learned my lesson. Don’t let fear cripple me. Do what I need to do and do it when I need to do it. I’m glad I see clearly now, and I mean I can see clearly now, literally!