Category: A Moment in My Life

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, October 6, 2020

There has never been a more prevalent time than during Shelter in Place when girlfriends mean more than ever before. Girlfriends are the ones who were understated and over publicized but taken for granted because they were always there. It was an unspoken rule that girlfriends, like sisters, would be there for you without fail. Not all, but the true-blue girlfriends, you know who they are, are the ones who will be there for you through thick or thin, good or bad, fun times, and your worst times. They love you even when you are not very loving and not deserving. If you have a true-blue girlfriend in your circle, then you are a rich person. 

I’m a filthy rich person because of my circle of true-blue girlfriends. I appreciate each one of them for the uniqueness they bring to my life. Good thing I don’t have to pick only one of them! I don’t often publicize this, but I do appreciate my girlfriends. Today, I’m taking a moment to declare my appreciation because I got to hang out with my BFF, Iggy, yesterday for the first time since before Shelter in Place. In solitary, I adapted to the no-physical-contact relationship and acclimated nicely to cyber-contact with everybody. I thought that was good enough until I hung out with Iggy yesterday. That’s when my new-found appreciation surfaced because, now, I know what I was missing. There is no comparison to the face-to-face interactions between people. Even with a mask, it was still way better to be in the presence with my friend than to have a computer screen between us. 

There is no satisfaction like the meaningful conversations, or the silly banters that happen when you’re with your girlfriends. It’s nature’s free stress relief remedy that can’t be bottled. God intended us not to be alone, and I am grateful for that because running errands is something we must do, but like Iggy pointed out that, “They’re not really chores when you do it with one of your favorite people!” She’s right. I had the most wonderful errand run yesterday because of the delightful company I had. 

Conversations take on a life of their own in the presence of your girlfriends, and you end up naturally talking about things that you may not bring up when you’re texting. That’s just one of the marvelous things about hanging out in person. I have been troubled with a dilemma that weighed heavily on my mind. I had no intention of sharing with anybody, but when I was with Iggy, one topic led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was sharing my dilemma with my girlfriend. Being the true-blue girlfriend that Iggy is, she shared my ordeal with me, and in the end, I felt a load lifted off my shoulders.   

I honestly can’t express enough the love I feel for my girlfriends because they are a gift from God who knows what we need and when we need it. We, ourselves, may not be aware of our needs until we meander down that crazy path of girl talk when your girlfriend says just those right words that you needed to hear, and you know everything is going to be all right. I appreciate my girlfriends more than words can express. I’m forever grateful for every single one of them. My girlfriends, you rock!

A Moment in My Life – Monday, October 5, 2020

“I’m going to take today off,” I said on Friday morning. Yep, that’s what I’ll do after I get off work at noon. I eagerly worked on my daily column anticipating the day off, and finished writing about noon. My plan was off to a good start just as soon as I run my errands and drop off some cookies at a friend’s house. Once that’s done, I’ll begin my day off.

I can begin my day off after I put away the groceries. I better call Dad first, then I could relax and enjoy my day off. Oh wait, I better get my daily walking out of the way first before the day gets away from me so that I could check that off the list. Okay, now I’m ready to start my day off. Maybe I’ll fold all the towels first and put them away; then I can relax and enjoy myself. Oh, look at the time, I better have dinner. It’s getting late. Good thing I have leftovers and won’t need to cook. 

Alas, time to veg in front of the TV. Maybe, I can vacuum seal the blankets and pillows while I watch TV, then I’ll have less to do tomorrow. The guest bed will be cleared, and all I have to do is put the guest bed back together, and the work will be done. Vacuum sealing the bags should be a quick task. Nice. The vacuum seal kit comes with its vacuum. I love this kit. It works so well! Ugh! This vacuum works only on their bags. Who said it would be a quick task? It would have been if the sealing was behaving. Why do the vendors have to make it proprietary? Now, I have to get the vacuum cleaner out to finish off the job. Okay, I built up a sweat, but I got all the blankets and pillows sealed for the next time company comes. Oh, look at the time—bedtime. Oh well, tomorrow is Saturday, I’ll take tomorrow off instead. 

It’s Saturday morning, and it’s my day off. I’m so excited! Before I take the day off, I will write a letter to my friend and get it in today’s mail. Afterward, I will return the two folding beds I borrowed for my family’s visit. After I drive them back to my friend’s house in Foster City, I’ll start my day off. It’s a gorgeous day for a drive and an opportunity to give my car battery a good charge, too. Nice to kill two birds with one stone. Oh, the gardener is coming to check the irrigation. That’s fine. It’s just a hiccup in my plans. 

Rats. Look at the time. I better have lunch and print out all the emails to read over before my 2:00 Zoom call. Ugh. There are six emails with PDFs to read! No problem—I’ll begin my day off after the meeting. Wow, the meeting took two and a half hours! Dad’s having dinner now, so I’ll get my daily walking in before I call Dad, then I will settle down to my day off. Dad’s not answering. He must have gone to bed. Oh, look at the time, I better have dinner before I do anything else. Oh rats, I plum forgot to put the guest bed back together. Let me do that and get that out of the way. Well, the day got away from me, but I got a lot done, just not the initial plan. No worries, tomorrow is another day. I’ll take tomorrow off instead.

It’s Sunday! After virtual church, I’ll take the rest of the day off. Oh, right, there’s a church meeting after the service. No problem. I’ll begin my day off after that. I better do a laundry load before church and get that done while I do my morning writing. In that way, I can launder the new sleepwear that I bought from Kohls. Oh dear, look at the pilling from the seams! I didn’t expect the seams to fall apart after one washing. Ugh. Good thing I laundered the new items now. I can return them before I tossed the tags. I’ll need to get the price tags paired back to each item and get them ready to return. What a task that was! They don’t make it logical or easy to figure out which tag goes with which piece, do they? Finally, done. I can begin my day off now.

I’m planning on a wellness program for myself to reduce a few pounds during this month.  Before I do anything else, I will check with my family if they want to join me. Oh, they do want to join. Nice, but they’re asking how we’ll do this. Okay, since I came up with this brilliant idea, I better create a plan. Once I’m done with the plan, then I’ll start my day off. Plan done. My family likes my writeup. They think it’s a realistic and obtainable action plan, and we are doing the challenge together. I’m so excited!

Oh dear, the day is slipping by me, but I’ll get my daily walk in and call Dad, and then I’ll heat dinner, and afterward, I’ll veg in front of the TV and start my day off.

After all that, would you believe me if I told you that I got to enjoy two movies before bedtime on Sunday night? I watched Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and Jack Reacher. It was a long road to my day off, and it may not have been a day off, but an evening off is better than nothing at all. It was enjoyable and worth the wait.

Afternote:

Unbeknownst to me, this morning, I would get a text from my BFF, Iggy, aka Gail Igawa, asking if I was comfortable with getting together for an outdoor lunch today, followed by an errand run with her. She took today off, and I am honored that she chose me to hang out with. I know she takes all the proper social distancing protocols seriously at all times like I do, putting any concerns I might have at ease. I planned on running errands after work anyway, and since we both have Costco on the list, it was a no brainer to say yes. 

We took a chance on Jack’s in San Bruno, hoping they might have outdoor seating, and they did. We selected the table farthest away from other patrons, and we had an enjoyable lunch catching up. There is no comparison to a face-to-face date. I’ve missed Iggy so much, and even though we wore our masks the whole time except for when we ate, it was still so much nicer being together again. 

After lunch, we started our errand run with Lowes first before heading to Kohl’s and concluding with Costco. I couldn’t ask for a better time spent with one of my favorite people in the world, and she chauffeured me around and then bought me lunch, too. Whether she knew it or not, when Iggy invited me to share her day off, she inadvertently helped me successfully take my day off that I’ve been trying all weekend to accomplish. That’s my Iggy! Since she came into my life, she has been nothing but a blessing to me. Now, I can say that I took today off, and I’m smiling from ear-to-ear because of it. Okay, Iggy, what’s for lunch tomorrow? 

A Moment in My Life – Friday, October 2, 2020

Earlier in the week, my car engine wouldn’t turn over, but there was enough juice to turn on the dashboard panel, the radio and activate the windows, but the engine wouldn’t start up. The last thing I suspected was the battery since it was only one and a half years old. If it weren’t for my houseguests arriving the next day, I would’ve taken action and called the provider who sold me this battery.

As luck would have it, I didn’t have time to deal with that issue. In the meantime, my friend, Wizard, rattled off possibilities that could drain a good battery. He started with a bad alternator. He added that if the serpentine belt were loose, it would be unable to charge the battery, or the serpentine belt needed replacement. My stomach was tightening and twisting inside me as I read each possibility. Ugh. My car isn’t old enough to have these problems! I don’t have time or the strength to deal with these issues right now. Well, it would never be a good time. For now, I have a brand-new battery installed, and whatever the reason, I would have to deal with it after my house guests left.

Then, Wizard said, “I forgot one other thing that will run down a battery; taking short trips—stop and go errands, which I think happened to you. At least once a month, take your car out for a spin on the freeway for at least 20 minutes at freeway speeds.”  

A lightbulb went off! Now, you’re talking my language. Wizard hit it on the nose. It’s a realistic possibility for my situation. That’s what I’ve been doing. Since Shelter in Place, I thought I kept my car battery healthy by driving once a week to run errands, but they were all local short hops, which I didn’t realize wasn’t enough to give my car battery a good charge. 

I know I’m not alone. Many of you share my dilemma of not having longer distances to drive to, and that’s why I am writing this to alert you not to let this happen to you. If you are on the same boat as me, start planning a nice little cruise down the freeway once a month to prevent damaging your car battery’s health like I did.  

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, September 29, 2020

“Does money grow on trees?” echoed in my mind while Elfido, the AAA driver, rattled on and on about my car battery’s test results and what my options were. I couldn’t believe this was happening! When I got behind the wheel and ignited the engine only to hear the steady tat tat tat tat instead of the expected engine turning over, the last thing I suspected to be a problem was the battery. VPea got a new battery a year and a half ago, right at that very spot in her garage space. Why would baby need new shoes again so soon? Whatever happened to the ‘lasting 4-5 years’ before the battery needed replacement? I began to wonder if the previous service guy sold me a used battery as new, but Elfido pointed out that the date on the old battery was March 2019, confirming it was a new battery.

Elfido gave VPea a jump charge enough to get us by for a day. Really? And then what? Elfido said that according to his battery test assessment, there was 0% battery health remaining, meaning—my only option—a battery replacement. “Okay, so you’re giving her enough of a charge for a day. That’s enough for me to drive her to Midas for a new battery..”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” Elfido interjected. “I have batteries. I can install one for you. I’ll give it to you for the member’s price.” 

Okay then. Now, he’s talking. Why didn’t he offer that from the get-go? In any event, I was grateful he would take care of it for me. I have errands to run in preparation for my out-of-town family’s arrival. I don’t have time to deal with car trouble.

Elfido was conscientious, and I liked him a lot. I am not a AAA member, yet, but he impressed me enough to become one. He even welcomed my calling him directly if I needed service. Now, that’s customer-focused!

I still can’t believe that once again, I encountered yet another expense. Wouldn’t it be nice if I did have a tree dispensing money from my backyard? I wouldn’t mind, but alas, I don’t. I am grateful that it was an easy fix, even though it was the battery again so soon. First chance I get, I’ll be looking for last year’s receipt and making a call. Wish me luck that I’ll get restitution for that dud battery.

A Moment in My Life – Monday, September 28, 2020

Sometimes I wonder if I was born too late. I remember the day vividly when Uncle Sen introduced his bride to our family. I was seven and fascinated with Aunt Linda. Like a celebrity, she was this statuette fashionista, nothing like anybody around my neighborhood in the suburbs. I’m sure she was tired of me tailing her like a puppy dog observing her every move, but she was too polite to say anything. 

Everywhere we went, Aunt Linda was not alone with me wrapped around her arm like I was her handbag. Speaking of handbag, Aunt Linda‘s suitcase was like a crayon box with the different colors, lime green, bright orange shoes, and matching bags that color-coordinated with her pretty sheath dresses. I didn’t even care that those colors weren’t in my color wheel. Everything about Aunt Linda enthralled me. She was like a human Barbie doll! I couldn’t wait to grow up to dress as she did. 

Alas, I was old enough to wear heels, by then, in the seventies, nobody matched their shoes with their purses or even wore dresses except for special occasions. Although I never saw anybody dress as colorfully and stylishly as Aunt Linda, where I lived, that image was tattooed on my mind like an old photograph dear to my heart. In my early teen years, it was hard enough to fit in with the other kids and find my place in the world, let alone stand out. I quietly lived my life as it unfolded, wishing I was born earlier.

Growing up in San Francisco, I fell in love with Victorian houses and that era. Again, I wish I was born earlier. I visited the Haas-Lilienthal House often and dreamed of living there. I dreamed of wearing Victorian dresses and living in a simpler period, just like in my favorite movie Somewhere in Time, but here’s the thing though, I love modern conveniences. I thought about buying the newly built Victorian house in Pacifica for the best of both worlds, but that didn’t work out. As much as I love the Victorian era, I love what the modern world offers more. Technology has spoiled me. I’m sure I could acclimate to life without it, but it was hard enough living in my world with access to the modern conveniences available to me, so I don’t think I want to go back to simpler times. 

As I lived through the phases of establishing my life and my world, I realized that I like the era I was born into. It took decades, but I finally became who I wanted to be. So what if I didn’t get to dress like Aunt Linda, but I wore power suits as a young adult. I learned it’s not so much the period I live in or even my age, but my confidence in who I am that makes all the difference. I am in control of creating the life I want. These days, anything goes, so if I wanted to dress like Aunt Linda, I could make it so.  

When I think back to where I came from, I no longer believe I was born too late, but rather if anything, I was a late bloomer. It took me forever to arrive at who I am today, but I made it, and I’m happy with the person I get to be. What was old is new again. Meaning today is way more liberated, and I am grateful I was born when I was because I’m free to be me with splashes from the past added to my present. Did I know that I’d be wearing purple shoes one day? Nope—but I do, and I wear them with my chin up. 

A Moment in My Life – Wednesday, September 23, 2020

I sat in the vintage desk of my fourth-grade classroom among the backdrop of giggles and chatter when the click-clacking of Mrs. Malcom’s heels silenced the room. I turned around and inhaled the sweet, warm aroma that entered with her. My eyes trailed Mrs. Malcom as she strolled from the back of the room, curving along the wall of windows, making her way to the front of the classroom with my eyes planted on the little tray in her hands. I furrowed my brows, contemplating what was on the tray that smelled so sweet when I caught a glimpse of the most beautiful little gems of small white cookies with rainbow sprinkles on top. My eyes popped, and my mouth watered, and I involuntarily began licking my lips. 

Mrs. Malcom revealed my lack of patience as I fidgeted, waiting for her to get to my row. She handed a cookie to the child in the first-row first seat, smiled, took a step, and did the same thing to the next child. I was three rows over! I worried she would run out of cookies when she got to me. Alas, I cradled this gem in the palm of my hand and marveled at it. I raised it to my nose and slowly took a whiff, confirming that it was the sweet aroma that filled the room before I took the first bite. The soft, delicate crumbles melted in my mouth, and the pleasant vanilla flavor and tender crunch from the sprinkles tantalized my senses. For an instant, my cookie and I floated away on a cloud. I have relived this moment often. Every time I see a cookie that resembles this gem, my mouth waters, and I smell the sweet aroma in that classroom all over again. Alas, none has ever lived up to my memory of Mrs. Malcom’s cookie. I don’t give up. I keep expecting to, one day, find that cookie again or a similar one.

That’s the problem with expectations. As good as it is to have them, they could make or break the situation. Like the vanilla cookies with sprinkles on top, you honestly can’t go wrong with any of those recipes. If you didn’t have something to compare it to, the one you bite into might become your favorite. You never know unless you give it a shot, but if you approach it with expectations, you’re most likely going to be disappointed. At least, that’s been my life story. 

I have had expectations—often, high expectations—in every situation and event where I left disappointed. Has that happened to you? I remember raving about the delicious fish and chips at Red Robin to my friend Lena. Mark and I had the fish and chips dozens of times and never had a bad experience until I brought Lena there. The batter didn’t look right. It was mushy and fell apart. It tasted meh. I was embarrassed. Lena was too kind to say anything negative, but I felt bad for her, for me, and for Red Robin, who failed to meet my expectations that day. I can honestly say I’ve never raved about this entrée again. It also hasn’t failed me again. Of course, I no longer hold high expectations for it, either.  

Often, I’ve attended gatherings with the same people there. I always entered the picture with expectations of having a great time and reconnecting with people I enjoyed chatting with previously. In my mind, we would resume from where we left off the last time we saw each other. Yet, time and time again, my expectations have proven faulty because sometimes we do pick up from where we left off, but usually, we don’t. I’ve been disappointed where someone was super friendly before, and we hit it off so well, but this time around, they are distant, unfriendly and don’t seem to want anything to do with me. Sometimes, they give off these vibes like maybe they were mad at me or something. That’s heartbreaking, especially for someone who is hypersensitive like me. 

After too many episodes of disappointment, I began psyching myself up before an event. I go in expecting not to have a good time. I tell myself if I find an ounce of a good time there, I count that as a success. So far, dialing down my expectations has worked well for me. I almost always leave having a great time because I didn’t have high expectations to disappoint me. 

I recently realized that although my mental adjustment was helpful, there is a better way to avoid false expectations when people are concerned. I’ve learned that we don’t know what’s going on inside others’ minds or in their world that might be troubling them. Just because they appear distant and unfriendly doesn’t mean it’s personal to me. I need to take it for what it’s worth that they may be mulling over an argument with someone, or the expenses they face, or perhaps awaiting results from a dreaded test or whatever. Maybe they didn’t want to come to the event but didn’t want to disappoint the host. The point is that I don’t know what lies in their silence, but we all have those moments. I’m trying not to take things personally but be more objective and receptive to others’ situations. Now, I go in with not taking things personally, remembering that a world lies in the silence that we are not privy to but may impact that person’s behavior. On top of that, be kind, be respectful to their needs, and be a friend. Most of all, have a good time, and that’s all I can do.

When it comes to non-people expectations, that’s where I continue to dial it down, keeping in mind that nothing remains the same. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be a bad experience—just not the same. After all, is it better to expect a winner and get a dud or a dud and get a winner? I vote for the latter. It’s all a matter of expectations. 

The famous Forrest Gump quote resonates in my mind, “My mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.'” So true. When life is concerned, the sky is the limit, and our perspectives make it what it is. I plan to make it a good experience by living in the moment. Enjoying the experiences without preconceived expectations, and I know I will have a good time.