Category: A Moment in My Life

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, April 20, 2021

“You can come out now; the coast is clear.” I’m sure we’ve all said or heard this saying at some point in our lifetime. These words echo in my head as the world around me reopens, and more and more people get vaccinated. Once I told some friends that I was getting vaccinated, my social calendar began filling up. I was surprised how comfortable people were to get back out there so soon. Call me a wimp if you like, but I’m not eager to jump back into the world yet. A scene from the movie “Jaws” keeps replaying in my mind that it’s too soon to go back into the water. That’s how I feel. I pushed off the invitations to the latter part of the month to buy me more time before I commit. Don’t get me wrong. I look forward to hanging out with my peeps, but patience will pay off. You know that saying, “Good things come to those who wait”? We’ve survived a year in the pandemic being hermits. We can do it a little longer. Let’s give the vaccine time to do its thing and give the virus a little longer to die out. That’s my thinking.

Sometimes I don’t get what I want, and I must go with the flow. Maybe without knowing it, that’s the nudge I need. My good friend celebrated her 60th birthday with a front lawn surprise celebration a couple of weeks ago. As much as I wasn’t crazy about a group gathering, I made an appearance in support. Everybody did a part to have a safe party, keeping with social distancing protocols. I’m glad I attended. I had a great time and enjoyed seeing everyone, even if only partially. One cool thing was checking out everybody’s mask choices. There should be a prize for the most creative or the craziest mask or something fun like that.

A week ago, I was honored that my niece, Sassy, who hasn’t taken a vacation since she started her new job two years ago and was about to lose vacay hours, chose to spend her time off with me. This trip made up for the May 2020 visit that didn’t happen. The fact that I got my second Pfizer shot on Easter Sunday and she got her J&J shot a couple of days later didn’t put me at ease. I was neither going to deny her visit nor was I going to jump for joy either. I love hanging out with her, and so I made the best of the situation. Of course, her job didn’t allow her a “no-work” vacation, which was a blessing in disguise. It let us spend some time together while keeping our distance during part of the day. It worked out well.

I laugh when I think that I wore my mask in the car with Sassy after sharing the house for a couple of days. I’m not wrong thinking that being in the confines of my car, I should mask up, but I realized how silly that was when she asked, “Do you always wear a mask while driving?” Good question. I don’t when I’m alone. Considering she’s as phobic as I am about avoiding Covid, we’re both as healthy as could be. Before this trip, we both worked remotely, got vaccinated, and we already shared the same house for a few days, which made me realize how paranoid or silly, I was being. 

We reserved the last morning for our photoshoot. It felt terrific standing side-by-side again. Although the pandemic made us guarded, which isn’t bad, it kept us from getting closer like pre-Covid. I’m sure we’ll relax in time as we regain our comfort levels. It’s good we are cautious. I’ll gingerly stick my toe into the water for a while. I’m not diving in even if you holler, “You can come out now; the coast is clear!”

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, April 8, 2021

The other day, a friend asked me about tiger moms, which took me back to my younger days when nothing was good enough for my mother. She set unobtainable standards for my sisters and me to follow but tried as we might; we never lived up to her expectations. How do you compete with the Jones when the grass was always a better shade of green in their yard? I believe I became super disciplined and a perfectionist because of my mother’s tight reign. And yes, it had to do with my unique makeup, but I credit my mother’s conditioning more. All I know is that my mother should be proud of herself for successfully tattooing her high standards in me that continue to haunt me long after she did her job.

I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt lately with the little JYD sitting on my shoulder, wagging her disappointed finger while making tsking sounds at me for not achieving everything that I set out to do last month. So, I didn’t write two new fiction stories a week. I wrote two the first week, and I wrote one a week after that. Doesn’t that count? “Well yeah, that counts,” she said, smirking. “But you wrote two a week only once.” Ugh. She’s right, yet with fiction, I honestly can’t force it. It has to come naturally. I have to be in my writer’s zone to make it work. That’s where the problem lies. I’m not sure what happened, but early in the month, I developed dermatitis for the first time. I thought it was a bite on my heel initially, but instead of clearing up, it worsened. Then my fingers became inflamed. Long story short, the more I tried to fix the problem, the worse it got. The more stressed out I became, the worse my symptoms got creating the domino effect. The doctor instructed me to reduce hand washing, which was hilarious since we’re still in the pandemic. 

My case was so bad that the most potent prescription creams failed. Ultimately, I needed a 10-day oral Prednisone treatment that helped, but it came with side effects. They warned me that it causes insomnia, which was cool not needing caffeine to stay awake. However, the uncool part was feeling like a stranger under my skin. I’ve been off Prednisone almost a week now and began feeling more like myself a couple of days ago, but the residues prevent me from feeling whole. Having gone through this, I sympathize with people suffering from unexplained mental symptoms. It’s not something physical that you could lock down, but it’s there. It’s like an empty void that doesn’t feel right, but you can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’m in someone else’s home or like someone emptied my house, and I have no idea where they moved everything to. It makes me feel out of control and out of sorts with myself. 

The weirdest thing about this is that it impacted my ability to write. Having completed four short stories just weeks ago reassures me that I am capable of creating completed stories. I’ve got a fictional story brewing where I’ve been muddling around on the page for days feeling no urgency to finish, and that’s highly unlike me. I know it’s the Prednisone residue lingering, but I don’t know what to do about it except busy myself elsewhere until it passes. 

Since I’ve been conditioned to push myself always, there is no rest for the weary, but I am loosening up and allowing myself space to breathe while I regain my groove. Yet, you won’t see me sitting idle. Nothing justifies loafing in my world. I have to laugh because I’ve taken over my mom’s reign over me, so who needs a tiger mom? 

A Moment in My Life – Friday, March 12, 2021

Happy Friday, y’all! Did you miss me? Of course, you did! I was so gung-ho that I forgot to announce my hiatus from writing my column to give my fictional world a turn. As hard as I tried juggling writing my daily column with creative writing, there wasn’t enough time in my day to balance the two. A brief hiatus was a logical solution.

I’m happy to share that the break is serving me well. I completed a new short fiction, “Mr. Right Was on His Way,” and submitted that to a magazine. I completed the first draft of a new short fiction that I will finalize today. I know you can’t wait to read it. I’m excited, too, and look forward to sharing it with you.

Switching gears has been great for allowing my creative juices to squeeze through and fill my well. I’ve got two new short fiction story ideas brewing and awaiting fruition. I am eager to see where those ideas take me. 

I have many projects queuing on the drawing board. At the moment, I am riding shotgun and going where my muse is taking me. I don’t know how long I’ll be away from my column, ‘A Moment in My Life,’ but I will be back. At the least, I’ll be back to check in with y’all. I welcome your messages. Just reach out! In the meantime, be happy! Be safe! Be healthy! And, have a very Happy Friday!

A Moment in My Life – Friday, March 5, 2021

It’s exciting as a few of our counties move out of the purple and into the red tier and allow more businesses to reopen indoors that we all miss dearly—just in the nick of time. I heard on GMA3 that we’re in a second pandemic with more and more people suffering from Covid-19 and quarantine. Dr. Jen Ashton said everybody has suffered, and the pandemic has taken a toll on all of us. She said that all of us are subject to fatigue, anxiety, depression, PTSD from the second pandemic and that we all lost something, and some of us lost someone. All of which caused a ripple effect from the virus that trickle down to our mental health. Moving into the red tier is great news, but I think it’s too soon with the reopening to bring healing.

We didn’t get into this dilemma overnight, so we’re not going to jump out of our seats and go back to normal because we’re out of the purple tier. I think we should be leery and proceed cautiously. You know, we’ve been here before. Hopefully, we learned from experience not to drop our guards quickly. As much as we all want our lives back, it’s risky to flip the switch too rapidly. We’ve been sheltered in place coming up a year now, so what’s a little bit longer if that means keeping us from falling back into the purple tier? I think, if anything else, this yo-yo effect has been more damaging to our demeanor than the pandemic itself because it gives us false hope. It’s like parents telling kids what they want to hear, but when push comes to shove, the truth comes out, not what they want to hear. It creates trust issues. 

Aside from that, it’s good to venture back out into the world of the living, but hearing about some states dropping the mask requirement freaks me out. It’s too soon, people! Haven’t you seen the movie “Jaws” or “Jurassic Park”? It’s the red herring, people! It’s too soon! The fat lady hasn’t sung yet. We’re not out of the woods. However you want to look at it, the bottom line is, don’t drop your guard! Leave the mask on even if you’ve been vaccinated. This isn’t a game of chess. If you lose, you may not get to play the game again. Don’t drop your guard!

Since we spent months living in the effects of the virus, it’ll take time for us to heal and hopefully overcome some of the damage done. I’ve heard the loneliness, the emptiness, and the boredom people have felt throughout this year. Many suffer dearly from the lack of skin touching, and that alone is hard to overcome. I’m on the same boat as everyone. Hang in there just a little longer, people. There is light at the end of the long tunnel now. Don’t give up hope! 

In the meantime, there are ways to battle the effects of the pandemic. It’s not too late. There’s a lot we can’t do or change, but we can control ourselves and what happens in our homes. Just a shift of your mind can make all the difference. It starts with one simple decision: to want to make a positive difference in your life. I get up every day, and I get dressed—ready to go out even if I go nowhere. This immediately improves my demeanor. I fill my days to advance my life. I keep people close. I chat with as many peeps as I can. I stay in touch with folks on social media and keep up with current events. Ignorance, in current times, is not bliss. I use my quarantine time as hiatus from regular life to better myself. It’s the perfect time to practice good habits such as learning and improving my skills, working out, eating healthier meals, and destressing. It finally sunk in with me that if I don’t take care of myself first, I am of no use to anybody else, just like on the airplane. We put on our oxygen mask first. Then we can help someone else. Same thing here. We take care of ourselves now, and later, when we return to living in the outside world, we’ll be ready to do good.

Many of us lack people interaction of some kind, but there are people everywhere when we are out and about. We may not know any of them, but they are living and breathing bodies who need the same thing—human contact. In my effort to make a positive difference, I decided the next time I’m out running errands; I would look everyone in the eye every chance I get and “see them” and greet them with as much kindness and love I can muster. It doesn’t matter what they look like, who they are, what they do, or where they come from. I’m giving everyone the same kindness that I would like. It’s amazing how many friendly responses I got back, especially when we hear about all the uglies in the world. It was especially because of all the uglies and the hatred spiraling out of control around us that directed my decision to do what little part I can to make a positive difference around me. My efforts were received warmly, and it made my heart sing. 

I know all this doesn’t eradicate your sufferings, but hopefully, it would be a start in the right direction and put a smile on your face when you look in the mirror. Go ahead and pamper yourself with some kindness because you are worth it, and it’ll lift your spirits. It may not sound like much, but I’ve seen the positive difference kindness has made around me. We can’t change everybody, and we can’t change the world, but we can do our little part to better our surroundings. Simply being kind to ourselves and others can brighten up our days, so let’s live our life the best that we can and choose kindness but don’t drop our guard!

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, March 4, 2021

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have waited so long to make an appointment at Costco Optical. The last time I had an eye exam was in 2017, right before Cobra ended. My optometrist was expensive, even with my insurance coverage. These multifocal contacts with my high prescription were hard to come by and kept me returning to my optometrist. Initially, I figured I would order my contacts from Costco, but they didn’t carry my C-Vue multifocal disposable lenses. Eventually, 1-800-Contacts did until they didn’t. Good thing I ordered an extra year’s supply of contacts then. I stretched out my stash until I was down to the last contacts, and I had to take action begrudgingly. 

I don’t know why I think the way I do, but I do. For whatever reason, I feared going to a new optometrist. Maybe it was a simple fact that I don’t like change. I had the same optometrist for decades. I can’t say that she was the best since I had nobody else to compare to, but she was familiar. We became friends. Not good enough friends to continue a business relationship just because we were friends. I had some reservations, but while I had insurance, I continued to see her. You know how it is. When you become friends, it gets harder to leave even if you’re not getting the kind of service that you expect or would like. 

My biggest pet peeve was that I was constantly semi-blind. Her explanation was logical. I trusted she knew better than I and that she had my best interest at heart. The culprit was my high prescription. For years, I heard her say, “According to this, you are considered legally blind.” Interestingly, the legally blind range kept going upwards, which was good since my nearsightedness got worse each year. To correct my nearsightedness, I had to sacrifice reading up close. She decided to lessen my ability to see in the distance to increase my ability to read up close, making me always slightly blind. I couldn’t read the street signs or see faces yards away from me. I disliked twilight immensely because that’s the hardest time of day for me to see. Everything blended into each other. It was all a hue of opaque shapes. Then, to add salt to injury, I needed glasses on top of my contacts to clearly see the distance at night or when I wanted to see clearly. And, there’s more, I need reading glasses at times when my eyes got tired. When will my suffering end? All of this added to my fear of seeing a new optometrist.

I held off as long as I could. There was a deal in the Costco February coupon book for $40 off two pairs of frames. Perfect. I’d need a pair of frames at night when I remove my contacts and a pair for distance driving. That deal got me into the Costco Optical Department. Their exam revealed my vision hadn’t changed. Nice. They still don’t carry C-Vue, but this doctor wanted me to try a new contact, Bausch & Lomb multifocal, instead. As soon as I put those contacts on, it was like the curtains lifted, and someone opened up the aperture letting in all the light. Suddenly, everything was sharp and clear, even the blurry bottom line on the eye chart. I could see the people and things from across the warehouse, including reading the big signs on the walls that once I ignored because it was too exhausting to make out. It turned out that I no longer need the distance glasses foiling the $40 off two pairs of glasses deal. The doctor said, “You don’t need distance glasses. You can see perfectly fine now.” Wow! How did that happen? Technology? I don’t know, but I’m thrilled. 

After I left the Optical Department, I felt like a blind person seeing for the first time. I gawked at everything. I read every word on signs left and right. I saw faces coming towards me clearly. On the drive home, I read street names just to be reading them. I read billboards. I read gas prices effortlessly at the service stations. I was in awe of so much that I basically ignored all these years because everything was a shade of blurry. Not anymore.  I also can read up close just fine now.

I’ve been kicking myself since I got these new contacts. Why did I take so long to make that appointment at Costco Optical? I could’ve been enjoying seeing this wonderful world for years. No point beating myself up. I’ve suffered enough for decades. All that is behind me now. The important thing is that I learned my lesson. Don’t let fear cripple me. Do what I need to do and do it when I need to do it. I’m glad I see clearly now, and I mean I can see clearly now, literally!

A Moment in My Life – Wednesday, March 3, 2021

It’s Wednesday! We did it. We made it halfway through this week—the first week of March. Something about starting a new month on a Monday feels so right. We have a full week of weekdays to get a jumpstart on the new month’s goals. Goals? Did someone say goals? I made a long list of them to accomplish this month. Before March arrived, I was both excited and nervous because of my exhaustive list. Excited because every little bit advances my life in some way. Nervous because of my self-doubts. Can I do it? Could I pull it off? Am I following a pipedream? Who knows? 

I spent the bulk of February putting good habits in place and, gratefully, made them routine for most of the month. That’s encouraging. When you do a single task, most likely, you would complete the task. When you do the same task daily, you could do it, but it’ll take a little more commitment and discipline to pull it off. After the first week, you get an idea of whether you can keep going or not. 

After almost a year of falling off my workout regime, I finally got back on target for three weeks now. At the end of each week, I’m encouraged that I can continue to do this. Two weeks ago, I added homemade Green Juice to my daily routine and loving it. Those are two areas of my wellness program that I’m improving. I am serious about this. I want to add these good habits into my lifestyle regularly and not just as a fad. Both require commitment and time. Working out was my weakness. I did little jogs throughout the day and am committed to daily one-hour walks, but the workout part was not happening. I knew I needed to push harder for my overall wellness. It finally came together after God knows how many months of psyching myself up to that point. Since working out was my biggest challenge, I made it my priority. Now that I have it under my belt, it’s time to move onto the next challenge—advancing my writing life.

About a year ago, I began blogging weekly, and that taught me I could write. In August, I challenged myself to write daily. As of today, I have written 128 columns. It doesn’t feel like much, but looking at that staggering number, I feel excited, proud, and grateful that I did that. Yet, it is not enough. Some days I feel like a writer fraud. My dear friend Lenore reminded me that I’m a novelist and fiction writer, and then it made sense. That’s what was missing! Not for long—March is all about revamping myself and my life as a whole. Time to incorporate other writing genres into the picture and integrate my new wellness habits to form the new me at the same time.

March took off with fireworks, and that’s superb. Monday, I checked off every task on my to-do list. Tuesday, followed suit. It’s hump day. Yay! I’m halfway through the week. Don’t celebrate yet! It’s so easy to cave to false success. I know me. If I fall into that lie, then it’s game over. That’s the old me. The older and wiser new me says, “Hold on! Not so fast. You are not done yet. You are just beginning. Keep working!” Good advice. Like in the Bible, we have to pick up the cross and choose to follow Jesus daily. We have to do the same to achieve our goals. We can’t just do it once or twice. We have to choose to work on achieving our goals daily. 

Two good days doesn’t mean that I’ve made it. Just like if I have a bad day or two doesn’t mean that I failed, and it’s game over. Like anything else, I expect good days and bad days. I can’t let either persuade me one way or the other. To succeed, I need to pick up my cross daily, so to speak, and choose to stay focused and keep working. If someone told me I would have 128 columns written in 7 months, I wouldn’t have believed it. Typically, my goal each day was to sit down and write a column, and each day—I achieved that goal. If nothing else, this is a reminder to take one baby step at a time, then take another tiny step, and I will keep moving forward regardless of whether yesterday was a success or a flop. 

Today is a new day filled with new opportunities to achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality. As my Facebook friend Mona Harris said, “Work hard because dreams won’t work unless you do.” Amen to that. We fish. We eat. We no fish. We no eat. We must work and keep on working every day.

A Moment in My Life – Tuesday, March 2, 2021

I love dim sum. Who doesn’t? That’s one of the foods I’ve missed the most during this pandemic. I didn’t give it a second thought, though. I figured my only option was to wait it out until shelter in place ends. Who knew the pandemic would linger and linger? “When will it end?” My dim sum craving got stronger and stronger, and as if the answer fell from heaven above, my friend told me she ordered dim sum takeout from a restaurant. “What? You mean we can order dim sum takeout? Totally new concept!” I didn’t act upon it, and as if I didn’t get the hint, I began hearing more and more about dim sum options. 

About that same time, my older sister said she ordered dim sum for a Chinese New Year’s charity event she was coordinating. “Okay, you got my attention.” I wasn’t ready to order dim sum takeout yet because I am one person, and if I know anything about dim sum, which I do, I know it would be a lot of food for one person. 

My sister’s suggestion to my dilemma was that I try Ranch 99’s dim sum, then I could control the amount. “Great idea!” I’m not a regular Ranch 99 shopper; therefore, I was not familiar with their layout. When my sister suggested dim sum, I imagined they would have a steam table near their bakery or in their hot food area. I was right. They had a small steam table display for dim sum. “Oh, so exciting!” My mouth watered as I ordered a few of my favorites they had available. They didn’t have much, but they had shrimp dumplings (Har Gaw), pork dumplings (Siu Mai), sticky rice in lotus leaf, spring roll, and the bao, which I thought was pork bun but I erroneously bought a chicken bao instead. I was glad they had dim sum available, but it was a far cry from the quality I am used to. I told my sister this, and that’s when she corrected me. She sent me to the freezer section and not to the steam table. “How was I to know that?” She knew the steam table option wasn’t that good. “Oh, now you tell me!” I love my sister dearly. She’s got a big heart and means well, but her communication needs some work.

I returned to hunt down my dim sum at Ranch 99, and whoa, did they have dim sum or what? There were probably a dozen freezer aisles, and each one had some form of dim sum. My eyes glazed over with my overwhelming options. How long did I venture up and down those aisles? I was determined to walk out with something in my shopping bag, and eventually, I made my selections. Yep, you guessed correctly. I bought a bag for each of my favorites: Har Gaw, Siu Mai, sticky rice, and pork bao. The bad thing, they come in a bag or tray with a few dozen each. What can I do? The good thing, I can freeze them and enjoy them piecemeal over time. And I did. I was so grateful to own a small bamboo steamer that was stashed away at the far back of my cupboard, which finally came in handy. 

After this experience, I can add steaming dim sum to my resume. I wish I could include a raving review of this experience, too, but alas, I can’t. These frozen morsels appeared picture-perfect, but that’s the long and short of it. None tasted up to par with a restaurant’s offering. The worse part was the additives in them. Additives that I can’t pronounce. I only read the list of ingredients when my fingers tightened up, causing a weird sensation I wasn’t familiar with. I couldn’t tell which item caused it. I steamed another serving a few days later, but I wasn’t able to identify the culprit. It doesn’t matter after all because I didn’t like what I was eating, so why was I bothering with them? I couldn’t stand the Har Gaw skin. The texture was gummy, and the edges were hard like it was stale. I ate the shrimp inside and tossed the skin, so why am I bothering with this? The Siu Mai and sticky rice were bland with little personality but edible. The pork bao was the best and tasted close to my expectation. I might have kept the bag of baos had it not been for the additives. In the end, none were worth keeping and got tossed with the week’s trash.

I was finally ready to place an order with Dim Sum King for as many of our favorites as they had available because I wanted to celebrate Mark’s birthday in style worthy of his honor. This is where the saying, “You did well, Grasshopper!” comes into play. I selected well. Every morsel was satisfying in appearance, texture, and taste. Mark would’ve been so pleased as I was. Yes, it was a lot of food, but I got three meals out of this one order that included: Har Gaw, Siu Mai, sticky rice in Lotus leaf, pork bao, spring roll, and egg tart. If they made pineapple custard bins, our favorites would have been complete. 

Having done my homework, I am now an expert on dim sum dining. Well, okay, maybe not an expert, but one can dream. At least, I know the only way to satisfy my dim sum craving is to order from a real restaurant that serves dim sum. I am so looking forward to ordering again. Dim sum, anyone?

A Moment in My Life – Monday, March 1, 2021

A friend of mine messaged me out of the blue with an equally unexpected comment. He didn’t need to bother, but he did, and I appreciate his thoughtfulness. His message lingered on my mind, and I wonder how I would’ve handled it if I were in his shoes. He reached out days after Mark’s birthday, which tells me he cares but is conflicted. He needn’t say so, but I read between the lines. He did say, “I didn’t wish Mark a Happy Birthday since I know he won’t physically see it. I don’t wish anyone a Happy Birthday when I know they have already passed on.” That’s fine. I respect that. I appreciate his telling me.

How would I have handled that? Would I have reached out to explain my beliefs? People fascinate me with the array of possibilities of how they think and what they do. Everybody is unique, even in similar ways, which is confusing yet wonderful. I don’t have all the answers, let alone the right answers on proper etiquette, which is quite subjective as it is. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to handle any situation. It all depends on the scenario and especially on the people involved.

I know that we need different kinds of people because there is no one-size-fits-all. Bible says there is a time for everything. No one person perfectly fits all the situations. You never know who would say just the right words to lift a spirit at a precise time. It’s like playing the numbers game. Everyone brings us a little closer. Each one counts. Sometimes all it takes is one. Like my dear friend Lenore sent the only physical card in memory of Mark’s birthday. Her touching, heart-felt words teared me up while forming a smile on my face. All it took was one. Others showed they cared by adding their greetings on Facebook, texting or calling to let me know they remembered, and they care about me to be a part of this important day to me. Each of these people bothered to spread some love my way, which is worth more than gold. Not everybody did, and that’s okay. That’s the beauty of having a variety of people in my world. I got what I needed from those people who felt similarly to me.

You’d think that having lived the scenario, I would know exactly how to handle these situations, but I don’t. All I know is how I prefer to handle my situation. I choose to turn a negative into a positive. I prefer to keep Mark’s memory alive, and everything I do is based upon that belief. In contrast, other people bury the person along with any hint that they were ever on this earth. They would rather not get a birthday greeting! Those scenarios are tricky. I wouldn’t know whether to comment or stay silent. A few friends reached out to me tippy-toeing around why they reached out, and the takeaway was simply that they cared but didn’t know whether to address or keep silent. The bottom line was they cared. They didn’t know how I would take Mark’s birthday, so they didn’t mention him. All they did was let me know they care, and they gave me their love even if they didn’t know what words to give me.

 There’s no right or wrong way. I choose to go with what is important to the person. Like, if my friend celebrates in memory of the loved one, then I will, too. If they prefer not to, then I respect their wishes. It is subjective, but the one thing that we can do in every scenario is—just give love.

A Moment in My Life – Thursday, February 25, 2021

I minded my own business replying to a text at my dinner table when movement outside my patio distracted me. A well-fed gray-black cat ever so coolly struts by with nose in the air. I finished my text, then ran to the window, leaning my forehead up to the glass, turning my head in the direction the audacious critter went. My backyard isn’t huge, and the cat must have realized nothing interesting was going on and vacated the premises. It’s not every day we have visitors out back anymore. A part of me envisioned Tom Cool strutting past the window, then fleeing in a mad-dash just out of my view. Do cats have that kind of intelligence? Maybe I’m thinking cartoons. 

We used to have a family of squirrels living in a tree out back. They were comfortable guests who kept to themselves, requiring low maintenance. They preferred self-service to our apple trees. They took privacy seriously. Many a time, when they caught me snooping, gave me the eye, letting me know I was invading their privacy by turning their backs to me while they ate. They would’ve been perfect guests if they picked up after themselves.

One day, we had a new family of birds squatting behind our bushes. We discovered them by spooking them. I don’t know who was more spooked, them or me. We went out to work in the yard when the large mama bird flew out of the bushes right past me, eliciting a scream out of me. She flew back periodically and perched on the fence a safe distance from us. Why was she lurking? She seemed anxious, making me nervous. We peeked behind the bush where she flew out from and got our answer—she was protective of her nest of baby birds. 

Our most prized visitor was a little nest of hummingbirds. We named mama Woodstock. Woodstock was tending to her tiny nest perched on the tree outside our kitchen window for three joyous weeks. After the babies entered the world, they relocated. The new family remained in our backyard but being so small, the trees camouflaged them. I thought they moved away, but one day, the kids got into a brawl and flew out into the open space, bickering when Woodstock flew out and restored order in a tone only birds understand.  

All of our guests preferred to keep it professional. They came. They stayed. They minded their own business and expected us to do the same. Then, they left. Like Mark would say, “There’s always one in every crowd,” and that saying rang true when one day, there was a beautiful caramel-colored cat who visited a few times but never stayed long. One afternoon, I was making my first pot of lentil soup. It got warm inside. I opened the patio door a crack to cool down my kitchen, not realizing the cat was outside. Not until she squeezed in through the slightly ajar patio door. By the time we saw her, she had taken flight through the house. We ran after her as she took the scenic route. After she went on her merry way, we named our first critter guest “Lentils,” which seemed fitting. 

Did I say none of our backyard guests were curious? Well, thanks to Lentils, I have to take that back. She was curious and took a tour. Once her curiosity was satisfied, Lentils was quite content remaining out in the guest quarters thereafter, but I have to admit that it was a fun day when Lentils came to visit.